Broadcast Schedule			OUR HOUSE TRANSCRIPT, Tuesday, 27 June, 2000 09:47 PM (PT) Facilitator: Rita Smith. Rita is a mediator who specializes in conflict management for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families and organizations. Guest: Meema Spadola, producer/director of OUR HOUSE <reema> Hi Judy, <judy> Hi Reema + grounded has arrived. <reema> Where did you hear about the chat? <judy> I am watching right now <grounded> who, me? <reema> how about you grounded? <reema> What did you think of the show? + jezebel has arrived. <grounded> I heard about COLAGE from a friend I bumped into on Sunday... <judy> I am torn <grounded> Checked out the web page and saw tonight's chat listed <grounded> Hi Jezebel + Rita has arrived. <reema> Did you watch the show/ <judy> I am now dating a woman who is married and is terrified about what her husband will do if he finds out, and what will happen to her children and the hardships they will face <grounded> How old are the children? <judy> 2 and 5 <grounded> They'll be fine <grounded> My mom ran off with a girlfriend when I was 7... <grounded> As for the husband... that's a different story :) <judy> "fine" is not how the children on this show are <grounded> [Reema] which show? <jezebel> Grounded, what happened when your mom left? <judy> several of them have suffered <grounded> They [my Bio parents] remained friends for 3-4 years... <grounded> My dad eventually demanded a divorce when he wanted to remarry <grounded> and then he did a dead-beat number... <reema> Our House, It just showed on pbs in Seattle <reema> You can find out more about it on this web site <grounded> oh, I don't watch the tube much... <grounded> ok <judy> our any of you lesbian mothers? <judy> are <grounded> Nope <judy> Rita, jezebel, reema?? + Meema has arrived. <Rita> Hi, this is Rita. The show is just finishing now. I'm watching it with a friend who is the daughter of lesbian moms. <grounded> going to make some tea, back in a few mins ..... <judy> did she have a hard time growing up? In school, etc? <Meema> Hello all... <judy> Hi Meema <jezebel> Are you Meema the person that made this great film? <Meema> Yes, that's me... thanks for watching! <Rita> Meema is our special guest. She is the filmmaker of Our House and the daughter of lesbian moms herself. <Meema> Lesbian MOM. Only one actually. <jezebel> It's really incredible. I saw it in San Francisco last week. <judy> Its just ended <judy> great job Meema!! <Meema> Thanks Judy... <jezebel> Meema, do you get updates on the kids? + DevilHunter97898 has arrived. <Meema> Yes, I do... They're all doing great. + johnwilk has arrived. <Meema> Ryan from Arkansas is probably going back to school this fall! <judy> although I hope that my married girlfriend is not watching - she is terrified of bringing any pain or suffering on her children from the decisions she will make now <Meema> And Danna from Arizona is no longer in the Mormon church. + prcssxenaa has arrived. + LBuster2000 has arrived. <Meema> Judy (and everyone else as well...) I do want to let you know about COLAGE... + Shawna_K has arrived. <prcssxenaa> good evening everyone :o) + Jodie has arrived. + Minerva has arrived. + petervancouver has arrived. <jezebel> Hello + Jeannette has arrived. + danigrl has arrived. + Tommy has arrived. <Shawna_K> hello <judy> what is COLAGE? <LBuster2000> Hi!! <Meema> It's a GREAT organization for kids of LGBT parents & a terrific resource. + fifibigdog has arrived. + Chip has arrived. <prcssxenaa> Hello jezebel + Aprilg has arrived. <prcssxenaa> hello Shawna <prcssxenaa> hi LB + sammie has arrived. <petervancouver> hello from vancouver <Jodie> hello <judy> how do I find them? + lulu has arrived. <fifibigdog> hello <Meema> COLAGE is at www.COLAGE.org <johnwilk> I thought it was interesting that the kids who seem to be the most conflicted were in families that arose from divorce. + jd has arrived. <Jeannette> Hi folks + mai-ty has arrived. + Connie has arrived. <Aprilg> Hello from Victoria <Meema> Also... pls do check the resource list that's on this website <judy> THANK YOU! <Shawna_K> are we going to talk about the gay/lesbian stuff? <prcssxenaa> I'm in Vancouver, BC <LBuster2000> I'm 13 yrs. old and live in Seattle WA with 2 lesbian mothers + Katchoo has arrived. + Peel has arrived. <Minerva> that makes sense- they came from conflict + Gabriel has arrived. + Chirppy has arrived. + Against has arrived. + JOe has arrived. <johnwilk> Exactly. <fifibigdog> that does make sence <Meema> Hello LBuster! <Jeannette> Cool, Buster! <mai-ty> aloha everyone <Minerva> the children not from divorce have always lived with it - Against just left. <Meema> So glad to have a fellow kid of lesbian parents! <prcssxenaa> hello mai-ty <judy> HEY BUSTER <Gabriel> hi + Maria1016 has arrived. <Connie> Hello Meema, I saw your video the other evening in Seattle... It's great! <Katchoo> hallo + Wes has arrived. <sammie> it's strange that the churches, which are supposed to preach love, are the ones who are most condemning. + sally has arrived. <LBuster2000> That show did tell almost everything that can happen in life <prcssxenaa> hello Katchoo + arcogirl has arrived. + Against has arrived. <Jodie> not so strange + Terosauras has arrived. <Rita> Does anyone have any specific questions for Meema? + Gerry has arrived. <Shawna_K> what about when it's father's day and you have lesbian mothers? + Bubbles has arrived. + SueBee has arrived. <Meema> Ah yes! The eternal question... <Jodie> parent's day? <judy> Buster- is it worth it? the trouble at school, etc? <Maria1016> Mother's Day......is for both mothers + bambam has arrived. + Califwolf has arrived. <Tommy> I think that goes in the bag of "who leads at dancing" shawna + Suzanne has arrived. <fifibigdog> you just leave it <Terosauras> I just wanted to say I really enjoyed the program :-) <Meema> It's all about finding new rituals, new ways of being... <Bubbles> Excellent program <fifibigdog> : <fifibigdog> :) <Meema> But really it comes down to the same old family stuff. + paige has arrived. <LBuster2000> I don't deal w/ FATHER'S DAY, it's too much trouble to deal with + red has arrived. <Jeannette> Sammie, do some research into it. Most of the "gays are bad" is either old testament, or stuff written by Paul who never even *met* Jesus. <Terosauras> rituals! so important to the family <Gabriel> if i loved my gay friends, yet disagreed with thier lifestyle decisions, does that make me homophobic. + MrDNA has arrived. - red just left. <johnwilk> Yes. Fine program. Very light touch with the editing. <Rita> I know a 3 year old who gave a father's day card to a good adult male friend. - jezebel just left. <Califwolf> the program was wonderful, our son watched it with us and he asked questions and gave feedback throughout - jd just left. + zoo has arrived. <Meema> How old is your son, Califwolf? <JOe> Meema-How did you find the families that you profiled? + red has arrived. + jezebel has arrived. + Nisie has arrived. + cj has arrived. <Califwolf> 8 <Katchoo> I wouldn't call it homophobic, but prejudiced <Maria1016> My wife and I have been together for 10 years....9 years ago we were married, and our son was our ring bearer + cassy has arrived. <Meema> To find the families in OUR HOUSE I worked w/ orgs all over the country... <Bubbles> I am not a lesbian, but believe it is not important what sex parents are, as long as they are good parents! <Maria1016> He is now 16 years old <Terosauras> is anyone in the room a person that was profiled on the show? <Meema> and found almost 300 families! <prcssxenaa> I WISH the font was bigger... so I could seeeeee it .. *smile* <Katchoo> homophobia and racism are malicious <Connie> Bubbles is right! <Wes> Our son is now 19, adopted while we were living in Florida. We are in every sense a family and always have been. <Jeannette> Bubbles, very true. <Meema> I wanted to portray the diversity of our community... <fifibigdog> i have two gay moms and i think it is really cool but i still see my fasther <Maria1016> and this program helped us open topics to talk with each other about <Jodie> my partner and I are trying to have a baby <Califwolf> personally we are not thinking of marriage at this time but only because of the connotation behind it we are family <petervancouver> Meema...have you had many experiences in Canada and noticed differences between un and the US? <Gabriel> Prejudiced to believe in something different from the current trend? <Shawna_K> what is the definition of "Family" to YOU? <Maria1016> Wes....that is how we feel - bambam just left. + bambam has arrived. <Aprilg> My partner and I will start trying next year. - sally just left. + Toby has arrived. <Katchoo> I was raised by a single mom, and I don't feel incomplete because "my father" was not there. <Meema> Peter-- I have friends (kids of queer parents) from Canada... <Connie> Two loving parents of either sex or NO sex are better than having an abusive parent who is heterosexual! <zoo> it was great the way you showed parental sexuality as just one issue in the lives of these families <Jodie> We are on our 4th try and will find out if were pregnant in about a week! <judy> has anyone ever been the "other woman" - dated a married woman with children? <Califwolf> family is the people that are close to you who love you unconditionally without boundaries <Meema> One from Toronto who says that there was a great community growing up... <Bubbles> Connie, I couldn't agree with you more <Maria1016> My son will be spending 2 weeks with his father in another state <Katchoo> good luck jodie - cassy just left. <Aprilg> yes..good luck <Against> Is it prejudice to disagree with Judaism or Hinduism? + kasey has arrived. <Jeannette> Shawna, my definition of "family" is a group of people in my daily life who care about *me*. <Maria1016> The Only condition to loving is......to Love UN-conditionally <Gabriel> My bible says that i am not the one responsible for other people's decisions, but i am responsible for <Jodie> April, are you excited thinking about it? <Connie> Why don't the religious wrong fight the men who are abusive instead of gays and lesbians? <Against> I don't think it is homophobic or prejudice to disagree with the homosexual life styles <Meema> I have to say-- this is the liveliest chat yet! Go Seattle! <sammie> I think you will find the samae prejudices in both countries, although in Canada, the military has no problem with homosexuality--it doiesn't have to be hidden <Califwolf> but you should know that we have an extended family of friends that are close <mai-ty> I you said it Jeann <danigrl> Hi Judy, my ex girl friend was the other woman... <Aprilg> What is the homosexual lifestyle anyway? - Chirppy just left. <Connie> Agains,t .... it is NOT a lifestyle..... It is a LIFE!! + jill has arrived. - jill just left. <Bubbles> Against, it is not a CHOICE. + ER has arrived. <Rita> Seattle knows how to express themselves! <Califwolf> we are from the portland area <Wes> About twenty years ago two women friends of ours in Sarasota County Florida had two children by artificial insemination. Fathers was a friend and remained supporting. <Shawna_K> No, you can disagree, but dont take it outwardly. respectit, but dont... you know... <Jodie> Sometimes I feel like we dont deserve to have kids because we are gay <Maria1016> Family.......Members who live together, love one another, and stand by each other with a specail and strong bond.... <Bubbles> No, Jodie!!! <Aprilg> Jodie..why do you think that? <LBuster2000> Im fro seattle <Nisie> My partner and I have an 18 month old daughter and my partner was the birth mother and my brother was the sperm donor and we have a wonderful family! <LBuster2000> from <Gerry> in Canada they can not take your chiildren away because you are gay or lesbian <Jodie> Its hard with the messages from society <johnwilk> Meema, how has the show been received across the country? <Katchoo> not practicing a religion is a choice, and has different implications than sexuality. <DevilHunter97898> you shouldn't feel that way jodie if you know you can be a good mom than you should go for it <Maria1016> Jodie....why do you feell like you are not deserving? <Gabriel> If i say, i disagree with the gay lifestyle, because of my faith, ii am labelled a bigot <mai-ty> No jodie EVERYONE is special to have kids. <judy> I want her to leave her husband, I want to be a family. She has uterine cancer and wants to have another baby - her Dr. has given her 6 months to have a baby or have a hysterectomy - our time is running out <Jeannette> Against, did you choose to be heterosexual? Maybe you just never met the right gay lover. <Meema> John: the show has been well received... <paige> i'mfrom Seattle to <Against> It isn't much of a choice being born Jewish or Hindu either <Katchoo> so in that sense, they are apples and oranges <Califwolf> jodie i am sorry to hear that, although there are bound to be struggles love always means more than you think <Shawna_K> I personally think it is unfair that hindu's get to wear turbins instead of a helmet when riding a bike <Shawna_K> ... - red just left. <Meema> Less flack than I thought we might get. People seem to respond well to the families. + ButchieMom has arrived. <Maria1016> Paidge...I'm on Whidbey Island - prcssxenaa just left. <Jodie> I worry about the crap they will get from their peers <MrDNA> -caliwolf-- i have family in that area, her and her partner have a kindegartener they're raising. <JOe> /list <fifibigdog> im from seattle + leviblue has arrived. <fifibigdog> wes are you there <Bubbles> Hey...I'm in Bellevue. Are we all locals? <Jodie> But we are doing it anyway!!! <fifibigdog> (p) <Wes> Yes fifibig dog <Jeannette> I'm in Seattle, in the U District. <Terosauras> British Columbia here. Loving KCTS :-) <Rita> The issue of how peers treat children of GL families is very BIG. <Connie> Kids wouldn't give other kids "crap" if they didn't learn it from their parents! <jezebel> The show aired in Seattle tonite, so most of us are from that area <Meema> RE: "crap" that kids get for having gay parents-- I do know that I went through that... <Califwolf> really <ButchieMom> Im in Seattle <Shawna_K> I'm in surrey, bc. <Gabriel> I feel like many gay people use thier lifestyle as their religion <fifibigdog> is that you jojo <mai-ty> is it just as hard for men to have a family as it is for woman? <Meema> and now feel very lucky to have grown up w/ a lesbian mom. <Nisie> We are local - seattle! <arcogirl> i'm in burnaby,b.c. <fifibigdog> is wes your last name <Katchoo> peers will be peers. kids are mean, they will taunt children as long as they can find a reason <JOe> As a straight young teenager my boyfriend ran away from his mother and abusive stepfather's home to live with his gay father.Despite the abuse with the stepfather there was a huge custody battle. In the end he was able to remain with his father! <ER> I'm in Tacoma <Jodie> Im in Woodinville, north of Bellevue <Meema> That's right Katchoo... <Califwolf> we are in vancouver--- so kind of washington and kind of oregon <johnwilk> Gabriel, it's not a "lifestyle." - paige just left. <Terosauras> Penticton, BC HOT!!! <leviblue> bellingham + robi has arrived. - robi just left. <Suzanne> We're in Seattle. + lf has arrived. <Wes> Wes Kent, Vashon Island <DevilHunter97898> Redmond <Connie> Gabriel, gays have to fight continually to HAVE a life..... they are condemned everywhere they turn... and it's wrong <mai-ty> gig harbor - SueBee just left. <Maria1016> Jodie....that's where your role as and adult, and a parent .... comes into the lives of your chicldren's well being and the structure you build for them to carry on when they are on their own + dug has arrived. - zoo just left. + LE has arrived. - LE just left. <Jodie> hey, as in Suzanne and Karla? <ButchieMom> Hey anyone looking for a single lesbian with 1 young child? + jill has arrived. + quear1 has arrived. + Chris has arrived. + bacchuss has arrived. + Hiker has arrived. + Terosauras has arrived. + Toby has arrived. + reema has arrived. + LBuster2000ton has arrived. + Jacob has arrived. + Connie has arrived. + fifibigdog has arrived. + Gerry has arrived. + sammie has arrived. + lw has arrived. + jezebel has arrived. + johnwilk has arrived. + cj has arrived. + LE has arrived. + DevilHunter97898 has arrived. + Shawna_K has arrived. - Terosauras just left. + Jeannette has arrived. + dug has arrived. + Jodie has arrived. + mai-ty has arrived. + Meema has arrived. + Katchoo has arrived. + ButchieMom has arrived. <bacchuss> looking for a femme to start a family with - anyone available??? :) + Califwolfed has arrived. - quear1 just left. <Jeannette> re hi folks + geoff has arrived. + lulu has arrived. <Connie> Looks like moofie is here! :o) <LBuster2000ton> gee, losts of us live in Washington State!! + Wes has arrived. <Shawna_K> okay... + Maria1016 has arrived. + arcogirl has arrived. + Jon2000 has arrived. + Rita has arrived. <Califwolfed> i have to get the child to bed, but please feel free to email me at califwolf72@cs.com <Jacob> Hello all + mary has arrived. + Casper has arrived. + bambam has arrived. + starchic101 has arrived. + Tommy has arrived. <jezebel> What kind of support groups are available for kids of L& G parents? Are there more like us? - fifibigdog just left. + Nisie has arrived. + grounded has arrived. <LE> too many out there <Califwolfed> i will turn the computer over to my partner + Suzanne has arrived. + MrDNA has arrived. <starchic101> hi <Wes> Any men out there who have adopted? + joany has arrived. + mimi has arrived. <johnwilk> There's a gay father's group in Seattle. <Connie> This is NOT a pickup room,,,,, it's for discussion of the video! + jamesw has arrived. <Meema> Jezebel-- there are some great orgs for kids of LGBT parents... <Tommy> I just got booted out of the room... <Jacob> Colage Jezebel + sp has arrived. <dug> I was disappointed in the fact that this movie did not tell the occupations of the parents.. + quear1 has arrived. <jezebel> I know a gay male couple that are adopted a child from Russia <Califwolfed> hello, this is califwolf's partner... <Meema> Hey Jacob: are you a colager?? <Califwolfed> how is all? <Suzanne> Yes that's us + leviblue has arrived. <Hiker> Meema - how many families did you interview? <Jodie> Hey I got cut off, Are you Suzanne and Karla in Seattle? <Jacob> it is associated with PFLAG - jamesw just left. <LE> how about a 40+ L&G parent <DevilHunter97898> I know a women named Brook who works for yes and she helps L/G kids <mary> you can check with the lambert house in seattle for groups for kids with gay parents + jamesw has arrived. <Jacob> No <Suzanne> Yes, that's us. Carla with a C. - jamesw just left. <Rita> Welcome, everyone. We are talking about Our House, the film just aired on KCTS. + Lacey has arrived. <Meema> I heard from about 300 families... talked to a couple dozen... - Chris just left. <Meema> one great family in Seattle even! <Jacob> I was on the founding board of Olympia PFLAG <Jodie> Suzanne, Karla, Nicholas and Maddie? + ER has arrived. <mary> great show! - ER just left. + RLV has arrived. <Nisie> We have a Lesbian mom's group in Seattle - look in the LRC under announcements! <Jodie> Hey! It's Janet and Lise! <mimi> i was thrilled to see 'our house'. when will it air again? missed first half. i'm lesbian mom of 5 y.o. daughter. - Gerry just left. + ER has arrived. <RLV> hello? <Meema> Thanks Mary! <Jacob> not a parent but know lots of lesbain and gay parents <quear1> any non custodial non biological parent of a choice child want to start a group? <Katchoo> excellent job btw meema - reema just left. - grounded just left. + jamesw has arrived. + seattlegayboy has arrived. - seattlegayboy just left. <jill> great documentary, meema..any more in the works <LE> great film glad to see it <johnwilk> Meema, there are a LOT of great l/g families in Seattle! ;-) + Sue has arrived. <starchic101> my parents are lesbian, it's really hard to tell my friends and peers when they ask where my father is <Califwolfed> you are all jsut up the road, we live in vancouver was - arcogirl just left. <Connie> Kids of gay parents wouldn't have to defend themselves if only the conservative right would shut up and learn the truth. + seattlegayboi has arrived. <Maria1016> Is it possible to get a copy of Our House..........to purchase? <Suzanne> Interesting show eh? <mimi> how are are you, starchic? <sammie> keep putting on shows to educate people about this--maybe one day it won't be a big deal <Meema> Jill--- I'm hoping that others will keep telling stories about gay famlies... - Toby just left. <starchic101> I'm good thanku <Meema> Maria: yes, OUR HOUSE is available on video cassette... + Peel has arrived. <Rita> You can contact KCTS about getting a copy of the film. They also have a study guide. <Wes> Rita, After fifteen years raising a son, while all along being openly gay, we found the progam revealed many similarities. <Califwolfed> yes you can get a popy want the number? <Suzanne> I wish the family from <Peel> Mai-ty, I think it is harder for men. women in a couple can have sperm donars and carry the baby, where as men are left with the choice of adopting or getting a surrogate mother - both which seem more removed than the options a woman has. <Meema> Contact The Cinema Guild: 800-723-5522 <Maria1016> I think education is the most importand thing for children <mimi> your age, starchic. <Katchoo> the issue is that society has a problem with anything outside of its comfort zone.... - sammie just left. <Meema> Or TheCinemaG@aol.com <Jacob> Like the father that talked about being male + snglolyguy has arrived. <jill> absolutely..and that the gay/lesbian community itself will recognize us.. <LBuster2000ton> ANYBODY WHO LIVES IN SEATTLE WA SAY HI! <Jacob> he needs education <Suzanne> I wish the family from texis would move to seattle <RLV> HI! <mai-ty> 20/20 had a great program about two gay men who had children <bacchuss> HI <Connie> Hi lebuster <quear1> hi <RLV> From Seattle! <Jeannette> HI Buster :) - Maria1016 just left. <Jacob> there are a lot of macho gay atheletes <LE> hey seattle <mai-ty> it was a great program + tiff has arrived. <jill> it is lonely being a lesbian parent..most lesbians here do not have kids... <Katchoo> I get comments from the older generations about my interracial marriage, that somehow we are putting our children at a disadvantage <Jodie> Hey Suzanne, how are the kids? Lisa <Peel> WHat route did they take? - ER just left. <mimi> meema, was this your first documentary? + kasey has arrived. <quear1> any non bio parents out there? <Katchoo> that they will be made fun of and not accepted, <Califwolfed> bravo is haveing their out of the clostet festival this week <Wes> Katchoo - Consider friendly confrontation. A smile and a question..... <Meema> Mimi: nope, I've done 2 before... <Nisie> That was a terrific program when is the next one coming out? <RLV> I agree.....I am a single lesbian parent,too...... <Jeannette> Katchoo, I got that on my last gf. <Suzanne> They're asleep! <starchic101> I sometimes wish that the media would stop making tv shows and movies that make fun of G/L <Nisie> Hi! <mimi> what were the subjects of your other works? <Rita> There is a lesbian parent support group in Seattle. You can find them throught the Lesbian Resource Center. <RLV> I am a foster parent... <Connie> Meema.... same subject before??? - Jon2000 just left. <Meema> I'm working on a documentary about women & gun violence <Jodie> What a great show - joany just left. + Riv has arrived. + Toby has arrived. <Jeannette> starchic, I quite agree. <LBuster2000ton> HEY jill I'm a kid of 2 lesbians <jamesw> There is a Dad's group too -- Gay Fathers Assoc. of Seattle (GFAS) <dug> My partner and I help in raising a 12 year old daughter and a 9 year old son... it is very interesting in the way they interact with their friends when asked "who we are" <Connie> Hi Toby! <Meema> Before I did two docus about body image: Breasts & Private Dicks (HBO) <Hiker> Meema - did you find any major discrmination differences between kids with two moms as opposed to two dads? <LE> you go RLV <Toby> Wow! I was bumped out earlier. <Sue> Any other families with a gay dad AND a lesbian mom? <RLV> Rita....been there already....most of them are together.....nice group, though... <quear1> the LRC group is not for non bio parents who are non custodial right? <Katchoo> the one piece of advise that i can offer to parents is this, in spite of whatever people on the outside may say, family should always be a safe haven for children, <Hiker> as opposed to two dads? <Jacob> Meema I am on the board of the Olympia Film Societry we may be interested - lulu just left. <Connie> Right Katchoo <quear1> ours died of aids <jezebel> What about language? Two moms are mom and mom? <Katchoo> hold your extended family responsible for that + bd has arrived. <Meema> re: 2 moms vs. 2 dads... I think kids' feelings depend more on the kind of ... <Califwolfed> does anyone live in the vancouver portland area? <mimi> i lost a dear friend to gun violence. her lover of eight years murdered her when she tried to end the relationship. it was the first i'd heard of lesbian violence of that magnitude. <jamesw> The discrimination for dad's is not so much that we're gay but that kids without mams will be forever damaged. - tiff just left. <Meema> support they get in their community... <Riv> Hello all + kritsy has arrived. <geoff> Im straight but why does everyone think of g/l as only sexual beings? <snglolyguy> who gets the tax deductions for dependents? <mai-ty> good ? - seattlegayboi just left. <quear1> not me! <mary> my friends son calls his moms momma and mommy, he is a great kid + W.SeattleGuy has arrived. <Connie> because, geoff..... this country is hung up on SEX... <Jodie> I felt sorry for the girl who hadnt been to school for two years <RLV> Love to meet other SINGLE parents in Seattle..... <Suzanne> Our daughter calls us mommy and mama <LBuster2000ton> hey Riv <johnwilk> geoff -- lack of direct experience. <Jeannette> Geoff, I have no idea. Maybe they can't understand *love*? <Katchoo> what are the statistics on quality of life for g/l raised children versus single parent households? - LBuster2000ton just left. <Wes> Right on Connie <RLV> hey...L + LBuster2000 has arrived. <Suzanne> Jodie, I agree <Toby> I found that my coworkers have been really supportive of my partner and my decision to adopt (I'm a teacher) <starchic101> I'm afraid to tell my friends who "the other lady" in our house is. I'm afraind that I'll be made fun of <Jacob> Meema the OFS does mostly inde films and documentarires and we like to do local productions <mimi> meema: are you still working on the film about women and gun violence? - DevilHunter97898 just left. <mary> the children are the ones who are the least confused! <dug> I wish we could focus on the show... I'd like to hear the feedback from others about the film <Katchoo> do you have any knowledge of those numbers meema? <Hiker> Hi <Meema> Starchic101: there are tons of other kids like us... (I'm the daughter of a lesbian mom) + Shelly has arrived. - Connie just left. <johnwilk> Starchic -- where are you located (generally)? + jeff has arrived. <Nisie> Hey Seattle mom's and dad's and kids - we are having a picnic third sunday in july check LRC under announcements - we would love to meet you especially more dad's! <Meema> You should definitely check out COLAGE (www.COLAGE.org) <LE> man this typing goes way to fast for me <Jodie> On one hand I wonder why they dont move on the other you have to stand up for your rights <starchic101> Vancouver B.C <Califwolfed> starchic where are you form, and what grade are in school are you thiws can be difficult on you <Meema> Mary: yes, I'm still in production on the women & gun violence. <LBuster2000> hey MEEMA my mom is a lesbian too!! <jamesw> I loved the balance on the show -- showing that there are good times and bad, just as in "normal" families. . . as if there is such a thing as "normal". <Jeannette> I liked the film... and the one homophobic ex-husband. <Meema> Cool Buster! <Toby> I was apalled by the way the school handled the girl's harassment. We are luck to have SAFE SCHOOLS as a resource in this area. <RLV> Nisie.....this is Rebecca.......how ya doin? <starchic101> I'm going into grade 9 <Jeannette> He was typical of what I've seen :( <Wes> Starchic101. You don't have to. We advised our son to call me "uncle" Aviod battles with mindless bigots. <Suzanne> Nicky just woke up. bye - Suzanne just left. + joshy has arrived. - joshy just left. <Jacob> The children I know of lesbian and gay couples are way ahead of their peers + johnanddon has arrived. <Jacob> about sexuality <mary> my son is 15 but does not live w/ me <Jodie> LBuster, do people ask you about your moms alot? <johnwilk> starchic -- i hope you have your own support group. Maybe you cna find one -- or start one! <Shelly> My daughter and I are looking at this. Very interesting. We are lucky this wasn't much of a problem for us. <LE> I'm glad to see such a LARGE respponse to the program - cj just left. <quear1> hey mary who does he live w? + Bruce has arrived. <Meema> I think kids of gay parents often face how, when, where, to whom to come out about their parents... - bd just left. + bd has arrived. <jezebel> Why not re-educate the mindless bigots by being HONEST! <mary> I was not his birth mother, so when his bio mother was murdered he moved in w/ his bio aunt <Shawna_K> Do you have to like lesbians, all the people in my class make fun of gay/lesbian people, I think it's okay, but if i say that they'll call me a queer and faggot and probably think i am a lesbian, which i am not <Hiker> Meema - Great Film, keep up the good work. My computer can't keep up. Bye. <geoff> I have a few G?L friends and never even knew about it until they told me and to me it's no big deal - lw just left. - mimi just left. <bambam> Where do you live butchiemom <jamesw> starchic -- what advice would you have for my 10 and 8 year old daughters? <Jodie> What do they ask you? Is it hard to deal with? + Kat has arrived. + Maria1016 has arrived. <Meema> Thanks Hiker <bacchuss> Oh my god! The julia butterfly documentary is on! I have such a crush on her <Nisie> Rebecca - what's your last name first initial? <Maria1016> No sooner do I get in the room, I get thrown off - Hiker just left. + Tao has arrived. <W.SeattleGuy> /who <Rita> My goddaughter, who has lesbian parents, says using phrases like "uncle" makes it worse! <LE> yeah its hard to deal with <Maria1016> Meema...was that 800 # for me to get a video cassette? <W.SeattleGuy> I completely understand that the kids didn't want to talk about their parents sexuality. Most kids are king of grossed out thinking about their parents in bed. <RLV> V...I just met you with my grandson...Jacob <W.SeattleGuy> /who <kritsy> does anyone out there get tired of explaining about two moms or dads? I certainly do. It really gets tiring. <johnwilk> Have to take off. Bye all, and thanks to Meema for a fine effort. <Shelly> My daughter did a fine job growing up, & was very open about me. I'm a lucky mom <W.SeattleGuy> /who <Meema> Maria: try 800-723-5522 for the direct line to Cinema Guild <jezebel> I know two moms that are Ema (mom in Hebrew) and Mama - johnwilk just left. <Maria1016> Meema...thank you so much <Meema> Re: HONESTY: I spent my teen years being pretty closeted... + Suzanne has arrived. <Toby> I think when you give kids names that take away from your true role, you are giving the message that the truth is "bad" <jamesw> W.Seattle -- you are so right. Straight, gay or bi -- our kids don't want to think about us as having any sort of sex life! <bacchuss> what are you trying to say west seattle guy? - Sue just left. <Casper> I have an 18 yoa daughter & found that as long as she was comfortable with having a lesbian mom, her friends were comfortable with it too. <Meema> It was a huge relief when I got to college & could tell the truth. <Shelly> TRUE James! :-) <Rita> Meema, my go <Maria1016> My son has made us very proud parents... + beans has arrived. <geoff> most kids are grosed out thinking of their straight parents in bed never mind G?L <Katchoo> question for the children in the group, I have been bi for several years, now but I have chosen not to share this with many of the people in my life. For me I feel that it is personal and that I really don't have to justify or explain..... <Maria1016> this room is moving much too fast <Wes> Rita. When you are a teenager it's not always possible to overcome a majority of classmates who are bigots. Sometimes better to survive and battle when you can win. <Jodie> Thanks a lot Meema, were planning on having kids and your documentary helped - quear1 just left. <MrDNA> I feel very fortunate - I'm an uncle to 2 kids of lesbian parents, a kindergartenter in portland and a yearling in indiana. Both sets of parents are top notch. Thanks channel 9 for showing that families define themselves! + sweetgrass has arrived. <Meema> Parents can really help kids by setting the tone... <Katchoo> ...do you fee that this is a similar sentiment for your dealing with other people? <Riv> Meema, thank you for the documentary....I'm a lesbian mom, moving to Maine to be with my partner....this is my first LT relationship, my sone (14) seems to be handling it well....so farT <mai-ty> gtg, but i thought that the film was soo great. Hope that others put out more stuff like that - ButchieMom just left. - beans just left. + mountain has arrived. <Meema> and that's often about being clear, open, honest. - mai-ty just left. <Meema> Riv: I grew up in Maine!!! - bambam just left. + bambam has arrived. <jamesw> Meema -- has there been any sort of backlash against the film where it aired previously? + dreft has arrived. + keesha has arrived. <Meema> Lots of great lesbians there! <Kat> Riv, is there a dad involved??? - keesha just left. <Maria1016> geoff......I think all teenagers are not able to picture the parents lovemaking, let alone picturing parents of the same sex + Duo_Maxwell has arrived. <sweetgrass> I wanna know about trans people who are gay and lesbian and why the courts think it is ok to remove their biological offspring and forbid any contact <Shelly> Whew. this chat room is moving too fast for us. Show was good. Thank you. - Bruce just left. <Duo_Maxwell> Hello + goldbed2000 has arrived. - goldbed2000 just left. <Riv> Meema, I hope the community is open....moving to Saco - bambam just left. + taye has arrived. <Maria1016> I can remember when My son openly asked how we did 'it' and when we explained it, he went on to something else to talk about... <kritsy> My mom caught + keesha has arrived. <Toby> I think the reaction of the boy when his brother asked about his moms sleeping together would be the same if it was about his dad and mom. <LE> not sacramento <Wes> jamessw- The Utah legislature is considering cutting funding the local PBS station because of the airing. <Duo_Maxwell> how is everyone? <Riv> Kat, no, his father passed away a little over a year ago (that IS difficult) - Shelly just left. - Jeannette just left. <RLV> I agree that this room is moving fast....... <Meema> Riv: there are communities here & there... more lesbians than visible gay men. <LE> get out of UTAH <starchic101> jarnesw, Idon't really have any advice, I don't know how ppl would react, so only my very close friends really <Shawna_K> you dont' understand, the program was wrong, teens do talk about sex, "bumfucking" and things like that, and when they talk about lesbians and gays, they just talk about it more. they talk about it amongst themselves, because they're parents wouldn't unde <mary> excellent documentary meema thank you for putting such a positive message out there!! good night <Maria1016> Yes, Honesty is the best for ALL children, not just children of gay parents... <Meema> Not true Wes! - Toby just left. <Kat> very, my partner is in North Carolina, their dad would never give his consent for me ot move <Califwolfed> unfortunately the room is moving much too fast for me to read - mountain just left. + aikido has arrived. <Meema> Utah aired it & it's been well received... no flack there. <kritsy> my mom caught the last bit of the show. I didnt see it but she will tape it when it airs again July 1 at 1 AM. - leviblue just left. <geoff> I do think the kids in the show were a bit troubled by it but it seems to be brought on by society and not their parents. Go figure.... + kip has arrived. <jamesw> I hope there is a "sequel" featuring other families. <Meema> We worked w/ a great gay-friendly Mormon group... - mary just left. <Rita> One thing that helps children of lesbians and gays is contact with other GLBT families. Isolation can be very humiliating. <Meema> James: lots of people keep asking about a sequel.. <Meema> I'm starting to think that I should do it! <Maria1016> Califwolfed.....I agree.....and, I noticed your email earlier...do you mind if I emailed you and chatted about Our House, sometime? <jezebel> Yes you should! <snglolyguy> am proud to be a real uncle to a 10 year old niece who ended the school year with all A's - raise her almost every weekend <Califwolfed> there should be more than a sequal <jamesw> I volunteer then! <kritsy> I am seven and said many of the same things the kids on the show said about what its like to have 2 moms. <keesha> thankyou from prince george, bc. <starchic101> teens latly have been using the phrais " that's so gay" to address something that they don't like, it's almost like they don't understand the consept of being g/l <Riv> Meema!! Yes, do a sequel! <Tao> Meema...the moment when the family near fayetteville stood looking at the rainbow... <Maria1016> Califwolfed....did you see the last message I wrote to you? + frankie has arrived. + Robert has arrived. <dug> I would like to see a sequel with a set of professional gay male fathers. <MrDNA> "gay-friendly mormon group" an oxymoron at it's best... <Meema> Krits y: welcome! <Califwolfed> anyone is more than welcome to email me, or i can be found on icq also <Tao> was very evocative of why they might not move away from a place where they are hurt... <LE> meema - you did an excellent show. even us early turkey baster from SF good job <RLV> 7?! - snglolyguy just left. + TJ has arrived. <starchic101> a sequal would be good <Wes> Mema-I was in SLC on the Monday after it aired. The local station reported some legislators reactions. Gald to hear of the positive reactions as well. <jill> meema, a sequel would be great! Please do more than think about it...you are a gifted filmmaker.. <Jodie> kristy, were you born to gay parents? <Tao> because it is so clearly their homeland - Casper just left. - sp just left. <Meema> Gosh thanks, Jill! <Maria1016> My ICQ is 28729994...and, yours, Califwolfed? - geoff just left. <kritsy> yes two moms, one donor <Duo_Maxwell> I though the show was good <jill> why, you are welcome meema. <W.SeattleGuy> The teenager that said he wishes he could get everybody in a room at once and not have to continue to tell the same story showed his frustration with others not accepting his parents. <johnanddon> when micha was our and was on a plane all the people around kept asking if his moms were sisters. Fed up, he finally screamed at the top of his lungs, "They're lesbians, okay?" + js has arrived. <starchic101> the show did help me to notice that I wasn't alone <Califwolfed> i believe that you should make more than just a sequal... it was very helpful and profound for our boy <MrDNA> As a somewhat lapsed mormon, I do have to say that the morman woman was a wonderful example of tolerance and forgiveness! <Jodie> Krisy, How easy or hard has it been from your peers <Peel> Meema - In addition to a sequel, it would be great to go back to these families in 5 years or so and do a follow up, see if the changing attitudes of society have made family life easier in the future. <Nisie> One of these days this WILL NOT BE A BIG DEAL. TWO LOVING PARENTS IS WHAT COUNTS! <jezebel> johnanddon, what happened next? + lizzie has arrived. <Meema> MrDNA: Jan from Arizona is a great woman! + JIMS has arrived. <Duo_Maxwell> I agree Nisie <MrDNA> Yeah Nisie!!! <jamesw> Meema -- I second all the praise (and restate a desire for a sequel). Being in Seattle's Gay Dad's group was a blessing because I realized that I was not all alone in this. I get goosebumps thinking of all the people you reached in places that might not <Meema> She really has risked a lot to be so open & supportive about her ex-husband. <Katchoo> that is the hope nise......someday <MrDNA> I was certainly impressed. <Shawna_K> yes! that is so gay, is normal, so is teasing the weaker kids, heaviar kids, kids with different cultures, bisexuality, all things that are different from what is "normal" <Wes> Meema-My partner and i were the first openly gay men to adopt in the State of Florida. If this history is of interest please contact me: cwkent@aol.com <W.SeattleGuy> /who - kasey just left. <W.SeattleGuy> /who <jamesw> WHoops -- the message cut off -- I was saying in all the places that might not have a group. You rock! <Meema> Yes... My hope is that people see the families as being simply families! <MrDNA> I can imagine she has -- i've been at the wrong end of the mormon stick before... - Kat just left. + Tommy has arrived. <starchic101> our family was asked to leave a church once they found out that my parents were lesbians, that's just wrong - dug just left. <RLV> Good night all! + buttbow has arrived. <Califwolfed> washington for everyone who does not know is VERY in favor of lgbt families adopting and fostering <LE> bye RLV <Tommy> ha - keesha just left. - Shawna_K just left. <Jodie> Meema, we are just like every other family - RLV just left. <Riv> Meema...you did get that message across, not just families...but families of color and different backgrounds..everything in ap positivetone <Meema> Washington seems like one of the friendliest places for queer families... <Jacob> Meema you can email OFS @ OFS@OLYWA.NET + jon has arrived. <jill> yes washington has been on the cutting edge of LGBT adoptions <Robert> Hi Rita, this is Robert from Gay PTA, glad to see they have you at the helm! <jamesw> Washington is a great place to be -- there were lots of kids with parents at Pride Day this weekend. <Meema> I envy that having grown up in a small town in Maine... <jeff> Meema -- How many families did you interview before you selected the ones that appear in the film? <Rita> We are talking with Meema, who is the filmmaker of Our House. <buttbow> My partner of 17 years and I have a son who is 23. <js> I can't believe they asked you to leave..thats church they teach you to respect and love everyone then what do they do <johnanddon> We are two gay men who try to fill a male role in the lives of two children of veery close lesbian friends. We get a lot more credit than we deserve, but we have a very gratifying relationship with the kids. <Katchoo> I have a friend who is considering fathering a child with this sisters partner...I am excited for them <kritsy> a little hard to explain. At first I thought easy, but really some of them dont understand. <Jacob> R - Califwolfed just left. <Robert> Cool. <Meema> I heard from 300 families--- and then had to narrow it down to five. <Meema> A tough task! <Duo_Maxwell> every family mas it's own unique characteristics just like every person <Jacob> There were a lot of lesbains with children at Olympia Pride <buttbow> Did good though Meema <Duo_Maxwell> mas=has <W.SeattleGuy> /who <jamesw> I wish Ry lived nearby so she could babysit for me! <jill> what did you do meema, draw straws? <Riv> Meema.how did you choose the families? <Katchoo> gosh freat feedback, but I need to get going. Stay strong folk! love one another! - Katchoo just left. <Meema> Yes, Ry is cool! <TJ> Question--how do I get my 13 year old daughter to open up about her feelings on her gay dad + Califwolf has arrived. <bacchuss> Meema, where there alot of cases of women who lost there children? + Lacey has arrived. <Rita> Yes, we're so proud of the GLPTSA and of our Safe Schools Coalition that brings GLBT student issues out. <jamesw> TJ -- how do you get a 13-year old to open up about ANYTHING? <buttbow> We let my son talk to us on his own terms. <starchic101> lol - Lacey just left. <Jacob> lol <Robert> I was really impressed that the documentary showed a variety of families in different stages of aceptance. <kritsy> I was in second grade last year. My moms are both active but some of them dont know whos mom is whos. so they dont know that both are mine. <Tao> i agree with jamesw! <Meema> Getting teen boys especially to answer was tough... - aikido just left. <bd> Hi Reet! Great show! <Duo_Maxwell> first you need to get her to understand that the feelings are natural.....no matter what they are TJ... <buttbow> He decided when and where and if to tell his friends he had two moms. <LE> you go buttbow! <Meema> I talked to them a lot before filming... <Jodie> kristy, how is it telling your friends about your moms? <jon> TJ - give your 13 year old time. I have a 15 and 16 year old and in the last year they have both opened up with thier frieds <Meema> and let them know that I was also the daughter of a lesbian mom... <LE> its hard for the kids <starchic101> just let your 13year old be, she'll soon get over it <jamesw> Hi Kristy -- my youngest just finished second grade. - kip just left. <Meema> Getting Saveon to take the camera and interview his brother... + kip has arrived. <js> not all teens are the same but opening up about a really active issue especially on tv would be hard <Meema> turned out to be a good idea.\ - kip just left. <Jacob> Parents are dumb to teens no mater what the parents sexual orientation + steph has arrived. <Califwolf> ok for those who did not get my post, my email is califwolf72@cs.com and my icq is 14921701 <starchic101> It took me a while once I found out, now I'm ok ay about it - Maria1016 just left. <Peel> Meema - in the one segment on the program, where the boy had the video camera and was asking his brother all the questions - did you ask him to do that, or was that his idea? <buttbow> Well, yes it is but they need to make some decisions too. He still introduces my partner as his aunt. <LE> my boy is 20 and i'm not sure who he's told <TJ> thanks jon--she is very smart and I know she is going through a lot of change right now <jezebel> Saveon and his brother were so sweet. I feel bad that there father is closed. - W.SeattleGuy just left. <Riv> Meema...it was....embarrassed his brother to death, though! <MrDNA> -Meema, thx for the show. I've seen it in practice and KNOW gay families work, it just that everyone else needs to know. Make more films!!! <Rita> Although it's hard to be persistent, I think gentle openings are important, even for teenagers! <kritsy> jodie, fine. its easy but I dont always bring it up. <Meema> I gave Saveon the camera-- my idea... + cc has arrived. <Meema> Then followed nervously hoping he wouldn't drop it! <jamesw> Giving Saveon the camera was brilliant -- he did not have to be as "nice" as a non-sibling! <Meema> I didn't tell him what to ask though... <js> saveon was adorable - MrDNA just left. <Meema> I thought his questions got right to the point! <Jodie> Kristy, Do you think it has made you a stronger person and more open person? + Maria1016 has arrived. <buttbow> Kids are terrific sometimes. <LE> wel meema you got some andded insight there <Peel> It really worked - his brother seemed much more willing to talk to Saveon than you about some of those things. <Meema> Yes... <Califwolf> i kids are always terrific... its usually the adults that are not <jon> TJ. My 16 year old now has had two kids come out to him because they know he has a gay dad and is supportive which has made him more comfortable in telling other people. <Meema> Sandor was clamming up in front of me... <js> thats how some siblings are...very tight - lizzie just left. <Meema> and why wouldn't he? this is a touchy subject for him. <Jacob> Yes kids are Jesus thought so! <Maria1016> Meema....do you have an email address, of which I am able to reach you, please? <LBuster2000> buttbow--I'm 13 and I was NEVER terrified that my mom was a lesbian!! <Nisie> This is moving fast! I'm signing off now. For all the gay & lesbian parents, MORE POWER TO YOU! SOON ALL OF THIS WILL NOT BE A BIG DEAL! CYA Seattle! <kritsy> "krisy's" mom here. she is very open about us, she has never known anything different. Once when she answered the phone the solicitor asked to speak to her "Dad" she said I dont have a dad I have two moms. no problem with openness <buttbow> My son is co=parenting two children now with a woman. They are not his children but he is a very fair dad. + perna has arrived. <Duo_Maxwell> adults can learn alot from kids...but unfortunatly kids pick things up from there parents.....like hate.... - bacchuss just left. <Meema> Check out www.COLAGE.org/documentary for an email link... - cc just left. <TJ> To gay parents: how do you balance time and vacations with your kids/partner--and handle a 16 year May/December relationship <jeff> Meema -- thougfht you handled Sandor and his brother beautifully, but I'd really like to hear from them in about 5 years! <Meema> This site www.itvs.org/ourhouse has lots of GREAT resources too... - Tao just left. + Tao has arrived. - JIMS just left. <buttbow> When my son was a child he told the babysitter to go gayly forward in her car one day. Outed us by accident. <perna> hi everyone <Jodie> Kristy's Mom..Thats great! We are trying to have a baby currently and we think about these things <kritsy> Jodie : I am more acepting of different types of people than some kids, because I have two moms and I know not every famliy is the same <Meema> Jeff: yes, we've been talking about the possibility of a sequel... <starchic101> When I first realized, I wasn't terrified of then, a little embarrassed at first, then I got over it <jamesw> TJ -- I balance it with patience, humor and lots of direct communication. My partner is also a dad, so he understands that sometimes kids have to come first. <Tommy> I'm 18, came out to my friend 3 years ago because her mom is a lesbian <js> that would be good <Meema> I'd love to see where they're all at too... the kids in Long Island as well. + mike has arrived. <LE> see you folks later <perna> i was sort of saddened by the show - Nisie just left. <Meema> Perna: why? <mike> hi there + Nisie has arrived. <perna> was anyone else - steph just left. - Nisie just left. <Robert> I thought the gayly forward thing was uniquely mine. :-( <Maria1016> Perna...why is that? + Nisie has arrived. <Meema> I think there are sad parts... + lady has arrived. <mike> it was a cool show <buttbow> No Robert. My son invented it. <Meema> Thanks Mike... <perna> because the children didn't want to tell their friends at school + Lam has arrived. <Robert> Ohh. <kritsy> Jodie: I think you should have a baby. two moms is cool. <jamesw> I was saddened that there was a need for such a movie. . . I wish that the world already knew what we know. But since the movie is needed, I am glad it was what it was. <Meema> Perna: I think that's pretty natural... <perna> and they jusst seemed not happy some of them <Jacob> Oh no Robert not at all "gayly forward, never st8"! <Meema> kids don't really talk about their parents much at school... + Jim has arrived. <LBuster2000> Hey MEEMA!! If you decide to do a sequel, do a family in SEATTLE WA!!! - Nisie just left. <Robert> Ha ha <starchic101> It's a way of life and society, and like I said earlir, the media should stay out of it and stop making fun of them <mike> felt bad for the kids. it's always tough to stand out in any way in school <Meema> I think that this can complicate things: there's a pressure to TELL or NOT TELL. <buttbow> My son decided who he wanted to come over, who he wanted to tell, and how he wanted to tell---with the exception of the gayly forward.. <js> I though it was a really interesting show it showed me what it would be like, I'm a teen with divorced parents butthey are both straight anfd I hate it when people discriminate I just wish I had caught the whole show <jamesw> Or do an all Seattle version! <Duo_Maxwell> I was scared to tell my friends at school I had two Dad's till I realized how much like straight parents they are <Jodie> Kristy, thanks for the vote of support. Your experience is helpful! <LBuster2000> GO SEATTLE!! + Suzanne has arrived. <mike> gayly forward? <jeff> Meema- Perna raises a point: school is such a big part of these kids' lives, it would be interesting to hear from their classmates. <perna> i was also scared when the donor father sued for custody <Suzanne> I kept thinking: I am so glad that our kids are not from a broken home. <Jacob> Meema and come to Olympia too. - TJ just left. + Bob has arrived. <kritsy> Jodie: where do you live? (Krisys mom) <buttbow> My son told his babysitter one to go gayly forward in her car. Outed us. <Meema> Hey: you guys should should do the NW version yourselves! - jon just left. - Peel just left. + harry has arrived. <mike> meema, are you a producer from the show? + jon has arrived. <perna> i have been waffling between known donor or sperm bank <Suzanne> Maybe some families with kids from AI <Meema> Mike: I'm the producer/director. <mike> it was a very good show <Jodie> Kristy, I live in Woodinville Wa, (outside of Seattle), and you? <Jacob> Meema the OFS Film festival is in Oct. <mike> it was an eye opener for my wife <kritsy> Jodie: we aer in olympia <LBuster2000> MEEMA!! I want a NW sequel, but I'm only 13!!! <js> will it air again so I can watch the whole thing? <perna> meema, what was your inpression of the children <buttbow> I spoke to the State legislature here in Washington and showed our family pic. <perna> happy or not? + sweetgrass has arrived. <Meema> Perna: I think the kids are pretty normal... + dreft has arrived. <mike> it was funny, because she just mentioned how terrible it would be to have gay parents this morning <Meema> They've got ups & downs like all others... <buttbow> Everett <Bob> I thought the kids were great! <starchic101> Meerna, it was a good idea, to prove to people that being gay is compleatly normal + taye has arrived. <Meema> Yes, Ryan is in a pretty extreme situation w/ the violence at school... <Lam> It makes me sad that such a show has to be made, but I think it will help others see the real, and positive, and normal side of these families <Meema> But she's doing great... <sweetgrass> Perhaps if you do a sequel you will decide to have some diversity. <mike> and then we sit down to tv tonight and here is this show <Robert> Meema, feel free to do a documentary on the PTA anytime. <perna> do they feel like they can be open with their friends though? <Suzanne> Our daughter tells her classmates in preschool about her two moms like it is no big deal. <js> meema:will it air again so I can watch the whole thing? <Meema> Bottom line: being in a supportive family is great for kids. <Robert> Especially the GLPTSA! <Tao> diversity, sweetgrass? <Riv> bottom line <sweetgrass> I thought it was must have been terrifying for the kid whose father sued for parental rights <Meema> Robert: pls do email me so we can talk about the PTA, etc... <buttbow> Yes, I agree. My son is 23--a cancer survivor and a great parent now. <Suzanne> I hope that continues as she gets older. <Jodie> Kristys mom, I live in Woodinville, Wa, (outside Seattle), and you? + Peel has arrived. <jeff> Perna (and Meema) I had a child out of wedlock who was adopted 33 years ago. Now she's in touch with her bio parents and it's great! <Lam> I thought it was more frightening to hear the father who said it was wrong <sweetgrass> yes, diversity. gays and lesbians forget that there are large numbers of trans who are also gay or lesbian <kritsy> Perna, we have had a wonderful experience with a know confidential donor. we have, since the second parent adoption went through, established a relationship with him and his mom. Its great. He is not daddy, he is a friend. <Meema> The fact is that there isn't an absolute majority of "traditional" families any more... <Riv> Robert...GLPTSA??? <Meema> Like it or not, things are changing... <kritsy> Jodie, we are in olympia <Meema> Personally, I think that's great news for us all. <LBuster2000> MEEMA, tell us your E-MAIL address again, PLEASE!!! <jezebel> You can check broadcast times for OUR HOUSE at www.itvs.org/ourhouse <jamesw> It just dawned on me that I have no idea what my daughters (10 and 8) tell their friends. . . but they have friends over for slumber parties and other events all the time. The other parents are either mystifed or clued in. <Robert> Anyone interested in the nations frist gay PTA can email me at Robert7379@aol.com <mike> change is scary <js> meema? will it air again so atch the whole thing? <Duo_Maxwell> gotta go <Tao> oh, thanks for the clarification, sweetgrass :) <Robert> Don't want to take up the whole conversation. <Duo_Maxwell> byebye + frankie has arrived. <Rita> A know a daughter of lesbian moms who says it was most difficult for her starting in middle school. <Duo_Maxwell> *waves to all* <perna> kristy, i have a friend that is willing to be a donor and not be a father but it scares me <buttbow> My ex-husband just left my son high and dry--no invovlement even when he was sick. <starchic101> ya it is + gerty has arrived. - jon just left. <Jodie> Middle school is difficult for any kid! <js> it would be I go to middle school and kids are terrible to eachother <starchic101> true <Lam> I think kids don't talk a whole lot about their parents what ever their orientation is <jamesw> Ditto what Jodie said. - Duo_Maxwell just left. <buttbow> I agree too <mike> I think you should have an annonomous donar, so that this is not an issue, <LE> kristy: watch out <Tao> Middle school must be the hell that makes kids willing to be a "grown-up" to get away from it! <Riv> Rita, EVerything is difficult in middle school, blech <Peel> Rita, will this chat be archived? My ISP dumped me and I missed the last 5 minutes. <jeff> js: the best thing about middle school is that it WILL end! <Meema> Anyone who wants to reach me can leave a message in the comments section of this website. <js> but i think if i had had a donor parent I would want to know <Rita> Right on Tao! <Wes> Meema: Thanks, you produced an eyeopener. Hopefully many who watched have come away with a greater sensativity to how we live our lives as gay families. <Jodie> I think growing up is hard no matter who your parents are! <Lam> I worked in the counseling office at a middle school this year, and it was refreshing to see how casual, and accepting the kids were of gays <buttbow> Thanks meema! - starchic101 just left. <Meema> I second that Jodie! <jezebel> This chat will be archived at the OUR HOUSE site. <sweetgrass> I have been too many times with people I've known for a long time only to have these very strong people break down talking about their children they have been forbidden from seeing. They have tried to live witout the memory of their little ones because i - lady just left. <dreft> my kids were outed in school this year; a harsh year for them <LBuster2000> Jodie--My middle school years(1999-2001)going on now, havent been <perna> thank you for making this show <LBuster2000> difficult for me!! <Tao> thanks, Rita :) and my youngest starts middle this fall....argh! <Jacob> I grew up in Lewis County ...enough said? lol <Jodie> LBuster, Wow that is great! Mine were awful! - jill just left. <dreft> how do others connect their kids so they dont feel so alone? <Meema> COLAGE! <mike> Wes, this is a "swing thinkers" show. people who do not have a strong affinity either way about gay and lesbian issues. If your anti gay, you would see demons in this show <perna> interesting enough my mother told me about it so that i could watch and she watched too she is very supportive <kritsy> Jodie, if you use a medical doctor, by law the donor is a donor not a dad. then do a second parent adoption imediatly. we had the donor sign some papers of intent <Meema> Children of Lesbians & Gays Everywhere: www.COLAGE.org <Meema> I love them... <Robert> I graduated in "97 from high school but by far middle school is far worse. <jamesw> Dreft - I found other gay parents, and my kids have friends who are in the "same boat". - Bob just left. <Califwolf> ok all i am signing off, but i wanted you to know that i am the president of my son's pta, he is very open with his classmates and other school members, please feel free to contact me by email at califwolf72@cs.com or by icq at 14921701 love to all... <Jodie> And my parents are not gay! <LBuster2000> Even with my mother AND my grandma being a lesbian + goldbed2000 has arrived. - goldbed2000 just left. <js> I just finished middle school it wasn't too bad but I don't have homosexual parents, I think it is a very important issue though, I thiink people should be more open too it <Califwolf> keep our family alive <kritsy> LE, what do you mean by "watch out" - this is the mom - Califwolf just left. <Wes> dreft-did you complain to the principal? <dreft> thanks - started a parent support group, hasn't taken off + cm has arrived. <mike> thanks for the chat - Lam just left. <mike> thanks for the show meema <mike> it was excellent <Meema> yr welcome... <buttbow> buttbow@earthlink.net Bye all...great show.... <Rita> meema, why did you decide to make the film? <dreft> oh yeah! went to the school board even - buttbow just left. <LE> just be careful that all legal avenue s are covered <cm> will it air again--I was out of town <sweetgrass> Thank you for the effort of making the show. the kids were great. honest in all their stages of development. thanks, but knowing that other people's struggles to be with their kids isn't addressed makes a sequel shallow for me. good luck to all and gr <Meema> Rita: I'm the daughter of a lesbian mom... <Jodie> Kristy's mom-We are using an anonymous donor..I plan to adopt our baby right away! + babylove has arrived. - mike just left. - babylove just left. <Meema> and was frustrated that there wasn't ANYTHING out there about famlies like mine. <Maria1016> I want to wish you all a wonderful evening, and check in on Saturdays, for Col. Grethe Cammermeyer, from 10-Noon....she has a regular scheduled show, on www.gaybc.com....please join us on SAturdays <dreft> now I do anti - H workshops and speaks in the schools now - harry just left. - Maria1016 just left. + Maria1016 has arrived. <perna> meema that is a nice reason <Maria1016> take care...and, Goddess Bless you all <Jodie> Luckily my partner works for a company that pays for a portion of the adoption process <js> there should be more shows so people like me can see that it is "normal" - taye just left. <kritsy> Jodie, TOO COOL <Wes> dreft- I guess we are spoiled. The Vashon School District is very supportive and understanding. <dreft> still trying to get books etc in the schools <Jodie> And honors domestic partnerships <LE> jodie" you are so fortunate! <Meema> JS: right on... you got the point! <Robert> dreft, do you live in Seattle if so you should contact the Safe School Coaltion, email me at Robert7379@aol.com if your interested. <Tao> Jodie...they pay for part of the adoption costs! Wonderful (am from an adoptive family) <Maria1016> and, please.......join Col. Grethe Cammermeyer every Saturday, for a live show, 10-Noon, www.gaybc.com...please join us <dreft> am in BC - sweetgrass just left. <kritsy> It does get expensive. we have paid for TWO now. <jamesw> I teach anti-harassment classes for public and private employers -- over the past year, I am getting more and more questions and comments about sexual orientation issues. It is an issue that seems to be geting more attention in the "mainstream" <Jodie> Not to brag...but they are even paying for all the donor stuff too! <Meema> JamesW: I'd love to talk to you about using OUR HOUSE in your seminars... <Riv> Well Meema, I appreciate you doing the film and PBS for airing it. I do believe shows like this - Wes just left. - Maria1016 just left. <js> I hope so, I just find it hard to believe that people can be so cruel, there is nothing wrong with it <Jodie> I wish more companies did this! <Riv> will help maintstream fiamilies accept gay families <jamesw> Meema -- that would be great + bd has arrived. + fran has arrived. <kritsy> Jodi, all we got was the right to use up our annual leave to stay home for a while - but only because of the adoption. <dreft> how do I get a copy of the film? <Suzanne> Jodie, not to mention same sex health benefits! <Meema> Dreft: you can order OUR HOUSE from 800-723-5522 <Riv> And I'm certainly vested in it....I hope my friends watched....hope they will understand - bd just left. + bd has arrived. <dreft> am now using 'its elementary' and 'teaching respect for all' <js> they aren't true friends if they don't understand <LE> family medical leave should cover a lo tof that time. your entitledto 12 weeks <perna> james, how do you suggest approaching employers about getting same sex partner benefits? <Jacob> Yes in the future benefits for domestic partners will be common place! <dreft> thanks for the #! <Riv> Bye.....and thanks for the production <Meema> For order info check the resource section... there are many great groups, etc. there as well. - Riv just left. <Jim> check out the rest of the our house website for resoureces <LBuster2000> BYE EVERYONE!!! It's been nice talking!!! <Suzanne> The part I liked the best was when it showed pictures of the girls as babies. <Tao> bye LBuster - fran just left. <Jacob> Bye LB <Rita> To get a copy of the film contact TVS 415/356-8391; itvs@itvs.org <Meema> Any last questions for me (the director of OUR HOUSE)? <Suzanne> Of course, mine are babies still <LE> thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <LBuster2000> Yes!! Meema!! <Jodie> I know! They were Sooo Cute!! <perna> wanting to thank you again for the film <gerty> what is the address for the OUR HOUSE website? <LBuster2000> I wanted to know.... <js> thank you meema <jeff> Perna: as more and more employers grant same-sex insurance benefits it gets harder and harder for those who don't to keep the best employees. <kritsy> this is the kid, I have to go to bed now, my mom says so. Good luck Jodie, hope you have a great time with your kid. bye now. <Tao> Meema, are you currently working on something? if so, what? <jamesw> Perna -- with cold hard facts and unemotional logic. SHow them that it is good for business. <cm> I am involved in PFLAg--Parents and Friends of gays and lesbians--a national organization and it is wonderful to see everyone sharing and learning to help the rest of the world grow up <Peel> Meema, thank you again, and I hope your next film is as wonderful as this was. <Jodie> Bye Kristy!!! <LBuster2000> If you were planning to do a sequel...???? <js> is anyone in here a teen? <Meema> Tao: I'm working on a docu about women and gun violence... <Jim> www.itvs.org/ourhouse <jezebel> For any information on OUR HOUSE go to www.itvs.org <kritsy> bye jodie <Meema> Buster: let's stay in touch! - kritsy just left. <LBuster2000> js Im 13 <Jodie> Bye Buster! <js> i'm 14 <Tao> Meema, I look forward to seeing what you do then, you have a good eye <gerty> thanks <Jacob> Oh yes Meema OFs would be interested in that documentery <Meema> I'm so psyched to see young people here! - cm just left. <frankie> You can order the video from The Cinema Guild: 1-800-723-5522; TheCinemaG@aol.comThe Cinema Guild: 1-800-723-5522; TheCinemaG@aol.com <js> I wish I could've watched the whole show <LE> what about us oldies <Tao> Actually Meema, do you have any interest, or know anyone interested in something on multi-racial adoptive families? <dreft> thanks so much meema, from us and our kids + jack has arrived. <Meema> Well guys... I'm in NYC. It's almost 2AM here... <LBuster2000> actually, the reason I said bye is because my lesbian mom wanted me to go to sleep... <Jodie> Im glad young people are in here too <jamesw> Goob night Meema -- THANKS <LE> goodnight <perna> meema, as you were growing up with a lesbian mother were you embarassed to tell your friends <js> thank you meema <jamesw> Not Goob. . . that is a Seattle term for good, not a typo, really <Jacob> Good Night MEEMA <Tao> 2 Am! Holy Cats!!! Go to bed, Meema, and thanks for staying up!!! <frankie> Go tohttp://www.itvs.org/ou <frankie> http://www.itvs.org/ourhouse/broadcast.phpl <jeff> Meema: one reason there are kids here is because KCTS broadcast this relatively early in the evening. Bravo to them! <Meema> To find out when the show replays check www.itvs.org & do a search there... <frankie> for broadcast info <jamesw> Hooray for KCTS -- much nicer than last year's stuff <LBuster2000> Thank you <Meema> Yes! Hooray for KCTS! <Robert> Thanks Meema, I look forward to seeing you future work. I'll get your email from Rita or email me at Robert7379@aol.com <Suzanne> Thanks Meema <Meema> Let's all send them a warm thank you... <jezebel> THe show will be on again on July 1 at 1:00 a.m. -- tape it! - jack just left. <gerty> 1 am on Saturday June 29 in seattle <Jodie> Good night all <Suzanne> Bye - Suzanne just left. - Peel just left. <LBuster2000> It's 1AM??? <Robert> Thank KCTS for showing this great documentary! <LE> 1:00am in the morning!!!!!!!!!! - Jodie just left. <jezebel> No Gertie. It's on July 1 @ 1:00 am <Rita> Thanks everyone for the positive responses and sharing your experiences! <gerty> 1 am <js> it's only 10:45 here <Tao> thaks for moderating, Rita <Jacob> 10:47 here <gerty> have to keep all this queer stuff on late <Tao> er...thanks <jamesw> I have to get my girls to swim lesson in the morning -- ahh the glamorous gay lifestyle! Good night everyone! <js> where are you jacob? <Robert> Thanks Rita for facilitating, you did a great job. <LE> toodles <Jacob> Olympia WA <LBuster2000> I live in Seattle too, but its only 10:50 where I live!?!?!?!?!?!?!? - LE just left. <Meema> FYI: OUR HOUSE is on LATE June 30th after it truns to July 1st... At 1AM. - bd just left. <Meema> I get confused by those late night times myself. <js> k thanks I want to watch the whole thing <LBuster2000> OOOOooooohhh.. <Meema> Anyway... thanks again for coming & pls do feel free to send comments my way at the website. <Jacob> Thank you Meema <js> thank you meema <gerty> Thank you Meema, for making us visible <LBuster2000> Meema-- what is your Email address?? <dreft> thanks again to you! 'nite... <Meema> Keep on talking about this w/ friends & family... + Tommy has arrived. <Meema> My address is ourhousedoc@aol.com <Robert> Thanks again meema! <Tao> g'night all...sleep sweet <jamesw> We are everywhere -- good night! - Tao just left. <Jacob> I will put it on buuy list Meema <Jacob> buddy - jamesw just left. <jeff> Meema and Rita: thanks for taking the time for the chat! It's a great show, and I hope it gets taped and played at PTSA's and Boards of Education and such! G'night! <Meema> Right on Jeff! <Meema> Any ideas about how to get it into schools, etc. LET ME KNOW! <Robert> My hope too! <Meema> I am working w/ GLSEN... <Robert> GLSEN is a great org. <js> I hope so too some of the people in my class could use a swift kick in the but for the things they say, they should watch it <dreft> I think people just have to take the initiative and go *do it. <dreft> don't give administrators the chance to say no <js> believe me they will try to say no <dreft> sure they do! but when it comes down to do they want to listen to me or answer to a reporter... <Meema> All right folks... I'm heading out of here. I'm in NYC & it's late! Thanks a million for watching... <LBuster2000> BYE Meema!!!! <Jacob> you are welcome Meema <jezebel> Thanks so much Meema. This was great! <Rita> KCTS will provide study guides if you want to use the video with groups in school or wherever. <Robert> Bye Meema, keep up the good work! <Rita> Thanks so much, Meema. The film is terrific! <Meema> Thanks Rita... swell idea. <dreft> yeah! thanks for that info - perna just left. + eddie has arrived. <js> I had a really great teacher this year he wouldn't accept anyone say that fag or you're gay, he delt with it really strictly and was behind homosexual rights and taught us about it all year <Meema> Take good care all... here's to getting more images of our families out into the world... - Meema just left. <Rita> Thanks also to Tonia Jones at KCTS for the promotion. <dreft> thanks and g'nite <Jim> don't forget to send your thanks to KCTS and Tania Jones <LBuster2000> BYE from a 13 old kid in SEATTLE WASHINGTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <Jacob> Bye LB - LBuster2000 just left. <js> bye lb <gerty> good night buster - dreft just left. <js> am I the only teen left? <Jacob> I think so js - eddie just left. <js> thats ok <jeff> Hey JS: I'm sure you already thanked that teacher, but it's important for all of us to thank people who do things right! <Jacob> Yes it is jeff <js> I agree <Robert> Rita, you did a great job tonight, will be calling you shortly. Goodnight all! + cc has arrived. <Rita> Thanks for the vote of confidence, Robert! <Jacob> Especially considering all the flack from religious extremists <gerty> what do you do Rita? <Rita> I have a practice in dispute resolution, Groundword Communication <Tommy> js, I'm a teen... eighteen anyway <gerty> where were you when I broke up with my therapist? <Rita> Whoops! Groundwork Communication! I'm in the GSBA Guide and you can contact me at RitaSmith7@aol.com. <js> ya, I'm not from a gay or lesbian family and I'm not homosexual myself I just don't like discrimination especially towards gay's and lesbians <Jacob> js you are very inytellignet <Jacob> intelligent <Jim> bravo JS <js> I try to support things like this, thank you jacob and jim - Robert just left. - jeff just left. <Rita> Well, I think we've had a good hour. It seems that Seattle has exceeded all expectations in our interest--so far the best crowd by far! Thanks one and all, and Good night! <Jacob> js did your teacher tell you that not too many years ago one could be arrested if the police even suspected one was gay? <js> ya we talked about that <jezebel> Goodnight all <Jacob> cool <gerty> goodnight girrls <Jacob> Good night Jezebel <jezebel> This chat will be posted on the www.itvs.org/ourhouse site tommorrow <gerty> great! <cc> I have met two families with lesbian parents who have a son. I wonder how this affects a child's development not having a same sex role model - jezebel just left. - Jim just left. - gerty just left. + gerty has arrived. - Rita just left. - gerty just left. <js> it shouldn't affect their development at all <js> it shouldn't make a difference <Jacob> Especially with the high divorce rate <js> I'm from a divorced family, all that counts is love, if you are from a loving family that is all that matters <Jacob> that's true js <cc> It is just such a new thing to me seeing this. The two little boys I know are only 2 to 3 years old. I would be curious to see them in a few years <js> why? <js> how old are you jacob? <Jacob> 57 <js> cool <cc> Well, I guess it was interesting in seeing the two boys on the kcts show. Their father, it seemed, was quite involved so that they had a male role model. + Jennie has arrived. <Jacob> and their gay friends aren't maile role models? <Jacob> male <js> he was a jerk, he thought that just because there mother was a lesbian he had to be there to make sure they were manly men <Jacob> yes and what is a manly man? <js> there is no such thing, all males are men <cc> Well I guess you answered my question. <Jacob> rigth js <Jacob> that is redundant same as rich millionaire! <Jacob> lol <Jacob> know any millionaires who aren't rich? <cc> Are there any books on the subject of children raised in gay relationships? <Jacob> I'm sure there are <Tommy> what people are really talking about when they say "male role models" and all that, is the subject of character. You're going to be who you're going to be. True, you get a lot of your tendencies (ways of speaking, mannerisms) from your parents, but it d <Tommy> but your parents can affect your character <Tommy> whether they're homo or hetero <js> this is true <Jennie> I am very pleased that the program was broadcast and I think the kids are doing fine. <Jacob> In Lewis County men drive pickups with gun racks drink beer and chase women <js> but having a homosexual parent doesn't make you a homosexual <Jacob> It sure doesn't js! <Jacob> right how did we get to be gay with str8 parents? <js> it is all who you are inside, thats what makes up who you are and who you become <frankie> This Chatroom will be closing in 5 mins. Thank you all for coming - Tommy just left. <Jacob> right js its in the genes <Jacob> or is it jeans! lol + joshy has arrived. <cc> So are you saying that the child will pick up on the masculine and feminine characteristics of each parent regardless of their gender? <js> it is in the genes? I don't think it is <Jacob> yes <js> yes - cc just left. <Jacob> it is our gentic mke up <Jacob> make up <js> I think cc felt outnumbered <Jacob> and in the collective conscience <Jennie> do you think it comes out in older age for some people? Jennie <Jacob> you are right js <js> I think it comes from who you are as a person <Jacob> cc doesn'st know we are born with annama and annamas <js> there isn't a special ingredient that makes you a homosexual - joshy just left. <Jacob> females need to get intouch with there masculine and visa versa + joshy has arrived. <js> that has something to do with it I guess but what is in touch? <Jacob> no one is ever 100% male or female. <joshy> I really liked the show tonight, I caught the last 20 minutes or so <Jacob> yes it was great joshy <js> me too I only caught the last little bit <joshy> It was nice seeing neighbors with different beliefs still getting along <Jacob> in touch means getting in touch with your self or ego <js> I think in touch is knowing who you are as a person and who you want to be as a person <Jacob> you got it js! <js> and then trying your best to be the best person you can be <Jacob> wow if adults only knew that !!! <js> I know what you mean, I wish my mom wasn't so discriminating sometimes <joshy> js, is your mom not accepting? <Jacob> js how old is your mom? - joshy just left. + jezebel has arrived. <js> we were watching a soap opera together and there was an overwieght female married to a really hansome male and she was like what is she doing marrieds to him he is so good looking and look at her and this bothers me because I'm not your typcal size 4 but <js> I am still a person <js> she is 47 <Jacob> ok <jezebel> This chat will be available for reading tomorrow at www.itvs.org/ourhouse <Jacob> some guys like big women <jezebel> The chatroom will be closing in 3 minutes <Jacob> ok <js> but my dad is the complete opposite he treats everyone with respect regardless and that is what I want to be like I see him and think he is just the most wonderfull person in the word <Jacob> js if you want to chat anytime my e mail is OLYGUYS@AOLCOM <Jacob> AOL.COM <js> mine is punkin-orange@gurlmail.com <Jacob> ok got it <js> me too <jezebel> Ok. Thank you everyone. This was a great chat! <jezebel> Goodbye. <Jacob> yes it was <js> I will be away for a week starting the 1st though - jezebel just left. <Jacob> goodbye <js> bye <Jacob> ok js <js> bye everyone <Jacob> bye js <js> bye jacob <frankie> Come back and visit the our house site - Jennie just left. <Jacob> I sure will - js just left. - Jacob just left. Home | The Story | The Families | Gay Parenting | The Film | Talkback | Resources | ITVS