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Memories of Patrick
Carlos Avila


02/18/04@18:20
For me, Patrick will always be an intelligent and passionate collaborator. Someone who was loaded with integrity and was equally honorable as production executive as he was as a friend. He was a wonderful, kind man with a wit as sharp as razor blades and a heart that embraced even the most wayward of us indie producers. It means a lot that so many of us were lucky enough to work with him and to call him a friend. He challenged us, He made us better at what we did. He shared his talent. He gave us his time. Thank you, Patrick. And thank you, Kristi for sharing him with us.
Ellen Spiro


02/18/04@19:19
Patrick could make me laugh in the most trying of circumstances, which, during the course of two ITVS projects, were plentiful. When I talked to Patrick on the phone, we often wound up on a fabulous digression that left me amazed, like the story of how his dad had invented Call Waiting but only got paid his usual wage for it. He told me that story after we were interrupted three times by my call waiting and I cursed the person who invented it! When I saw Patrick in person, it was always a struggle to concentrate on serious issues, as they existed in such stark contrast to his crazy hat or his skin tight pants or some other startling article of clothing. Patrick moved through the world like a brightly glowing exotic flying insect, flaunting his own weirdness in a way that encouraged the rest of us. He was way too young and too bright to leave this world and his generosity of time, spirit and intelligence was immeasurable.
julia reichert


02/18/04@20:22
It is very hard to believe that an energy as strong as Patrick's, a heart as bold, a wit as clear, a voice as distinct, could have entered eternity. How could he be here no longer, could be gone form us? How could this be? Of anyone, he was most there for us, the "wayward indies", as Calros so beautifully put it. He put himself out there, he had opinions, he was a fighter, a fighter for others. Hell, he had principles. He was a model of how we should treat each other. I know he suffered, I am sure he was scared. That gives us pain. I hope his passing over was peaceful. The moment I probably remember most was during an extended discussion of PBS rules about underwriting...one of those three cel phone calls discussions. In this case, most of them were held outdoors in freezing cold NYC lower 6th avenue wind as I walked between a borrowed apartment and a borrowed editing room. He was back and forth with lawyers and with me, the question being whether a foundation whose expressed purpose for being was to support cancer survivors could sponser a film about people fighting cancer. The lawyer types had their doubts, because this foundation "took a stand" on one side, against cancer. As my phone hands shook with cold, he started to explain that this might not be "balanced", then we both started laughing at the idea that we'd need to find a foundation that was FOR cancer. His funny, angry explitives overroad the noise of winter and the street, and gave me confidence. Patrick embodied the independent makers perspective about television, and he was among our most articulate, forceful spokespersons. He helped us believe in ourselves. He helped, in a very big way, keep us going, keep our dreams alive. He belongs to the ages now. We can honor him by keeping on.
Pamela Roberts
proberts@mcn.net

02/18/04@20:46
When I look back on the past 20 years of independent work in film, Patrick stands out as the one - the one guy on the "inside" who I liked best of all. He was incredibly smart, insightful, delightfully weird and very, very supportive of independent filmmakers. When I needed his help, he was there. I feel fortunate to have counted him as a friend. He was simply the best and I will miss him.
Amie Williams


02/18/04@21:35
My first visit to the ITVS offices in San Francisco were memorable because of Patrick's large and colorful gambling dice tie he was wearing (I used to live in Vegas) and he was one of the few who understood that town (beyond the obvious). I made an ITVS film about childhood cancer, and his insight and sensitivity were remarkable, if not ironic (at the time I had no idea he was suffering from cancer). Later, he told me about this fab Duluth-based band, LOW. I am listening to it now, in memory of this one of a kind soul, this funny, this never to be forgotten man. Anyone who knew him would love this music as well...here's to you, Patrick, and "things we lost in the fire..."
Andrew Garrison
agarrison@mail.utexas.edu

02/18/04@21:50
As a colleague I felt my work supported by Patrick and yet also found him a terrific, honest appraiser. But more important for me in my relationship with Patrick, was the sheer, manic pleasure of hanging out with him.
Tom Adams
tom_j_adams@yahoo.com

02/19/04@00:08
Kristi is my niece. Some years back, she, along with her mom and dad, once picked me up at the Minneapolis airport, and as we were driving, I asked her: "Who is your main squeeze?" She was silent, embarrassed, and I think a little angry with me. Soon thereafter I met Patrick. And while shy at the beginning, our friendship grew apace. He was much more than a squeeze. Patrick was full of the juice of life. He had tenderness, compassion, wit, and great intelligence which he carried lightly. When last I saw him in the hospital, I held his hand. After everyone left the room, I told him: "I love you." He said: "I love you too."
Cindy Burstein, ITVS Community Connections Project


02/19/04@07:18
I didn't have a chance to get to know Patrick as well as I would have liked, but he left quite an impression on me the first time I met him. It was during the ITVS 10th Anniversary Party at the PBS Annual Meeting here in Philadelphia. After meeting him, I was immediately attracted to his dynamic spirit. Since that first encounter, I very much looked forward to seeing him, and saying hello during my annual visit to the ITVS office.
Suzanne Stenson O'Brien
suzzo@suzzo.com

02/19/04@08:20
Okay... now I'll cry. I've missed a lot by not being at his side, and Kristi's, separated by half a continent in these last months. But the memories are vivid and lasting, and a little leather piece of my very sad heart belongs to Patrick. I don't think ITVS would exist in its current form without his contributions. He was a throughline from the days when, as the first staffer, he "opened that first file folder and wrote 'ITVS' on it." His drive informed the early years of figuring out how to do the impossible; his righteous spirit brought the organization through the trials of Newt's Congress; and he lives on through that certain sense of tenacity and dream-making. Patrick taught me a lot, including the idea that we're all essentially frauds unless we admit our inner humanity. Although his opinions quieted when on issues of the heart, he was really in love with life and I think he grew his own place in it. His skepticism served him well, and me too, when he would rant on a particular bone or theoretical construct and reduce me, literally, to the floor, in tears of laughter. Patrick was the first person with whom I ever surfed the web, now my home away from home. He encouraged me to be happy and hip after my divorce. He taught me lots of new words and bits of information and a variety of historical points that (although he deemed them "useless") have stuck in strange ways to the sides of my life. And oh...the movies.... It's a crying shame that he was cut short, so young.
Lynne Kirby
kirbyl@courttv.com

02/19/04@11:09
I always thought of Patrick as my little brother - - the brother I always wish I'd had: brilliant, speedy (a quality I treasure), creative, offbeat,warm, funny, utterly unique. He and Kristi were lucky to have each other. We were all lucky to know him. I'll always love him.
Carol Cornsilk
AdanvdoVision@aol.com

02/19/04@13:25
After the first time I met Patrick in June, 2000 at the PBS annual meeting,I spent the next few months trying to think of just the word to describe him. When we met the second time as he exited the elevator at the Donatello Hotel, with his perennial pork pie hat and black frame glasses framing insightful eyes and wry,crooked smile, my menopausally-challenged mental thesaurus sprung to life and blurted, "ZANY!". "You are really zany, Patrick," I offered unapologetically. He looked at me, eyebrows cocked askew, and said, "Gee, no one's ever called me that before." And whether dancing at the ITVS 10th Anniversary Party, collaborating on how to bring an ITVS/NAPT co-funded production to fruition, or singing karaoke...ZANY is what he will always be to me. What a blessing to have such a brilliant spirit pass through my life. It reminds me to appreciate even the most brief moments. Thank you, Patrick.
Lise Yasui
yasui@aol.com

02/19/04@13:48
Dear Patrick, Your energy and zaniness; your love of life’s foibles, quirks, and odd turns and your talent for turning the rest of the world onto them will be sorely missed. Thank you for your dedication to worthy causes and sometimes errant but always earnest filmmakers. You made a bright spark wherever you roamed - may your spirit continue to lighten the hearts and energize the souls of those you loved and cared for. Godspeed.
Erick Highum
erickhighum@yahoo.com

02/19/04@13:57
Patrick was a great husband to my sister, a great friend, and a care-for-the-world kind of guy. On visits to San Fran he showed me the highs and the lows of the city via his cherished motorcycle. Through acts of kindness, his honesty and wit, and laughter, he had a way of seeking the good in life. His impact, to me, is personal, as well as societal. Patrick made the world a better place to live. And I miss him greatly.
Therese Buchmiller
buchmilt@mrs.umn.edu

02/19/04@15:33
EVERYTHING about Patrick was uniquely his own crafting. What a flair for living he had, such inspiring style, presence, and integrity--he gave us so much to think about in his exceptional approach to things. I am blessed to know Patrick, through my friendship with Kristi Love, and I'll always treasure the way the two of them made me feel right at home in SF. They helped me settle in, provided me with abundant support, laughter and entertainment in the years that I was there. Patrick had this uncanny ability to draw you in to his way of looking at things. I'll miss his remarkable brilliance, biting wit, and inviting playfulness. Every moment I shared with Kristi and Patrick provided clear evidence of the exceptional love and respect they had for one another. How perfectly suited they were, and what an awesome life they shared. I trust with the breadth of his influence, all of those remarkable attributes of his will remain vivid in our memory of him, and as well, influence the way we carry on. I'll especially miss the bike rides, discourses on Buffy, the splashy cosmopolitans he mixed up, and the demonstrations of new additions to the toy collection. I won't say goodbye Patrick. You will always remain in my heart. Thank you for your wit and spirit. What a gift it has been.
Toni Tabora


02/19/04@16:33
My memories of Patrick are random: Patrick launching our Minority Consortia PBS party to a rousing new level with his expert karaoke rendition of a Pat Benatar song; meeting up with Patrick and Kristi late night at the Cheiftain to cheer on underdog Senegal in their World Cup match against Sweden; ranting, riffing on the joys and pains of dealing with filmmakers, CPB, PBS over drinks at the Owl Tree; and the last time I saw Patrick - he told us that all he wanted to do was sit and hold Kristi's hand. Yes, Patrick's thoughtful generosity, sharp wit, zany fashion and deep knowledge about so much was truly awesome. But the thing that will forever remind and inspire me was the deep and unabashed love that he shared with Kristi. Thank you Patrick.
Neil Sieling
nsieling@aol.com

02/20/04@09:36
The first time I met Patrick was also arguably his first professional moment in the media world. He had just finished his time as a student at Carleton College, where he was predictably at the center of a culture of film nuts. A natural next step was approaching Alive TV for our one-year internship. Patrick showed up in a five- dollar suit, purchased just before the interview at Ragstock. He was full of bright, eager to please energy, even though he was caught a little short by the Alive TV staff being so casually dressed. Of course we immediately tuned into Patrick’s many gifts and took him on. Then we were pleased to facilitate his moving over the skyway to start his career at ITVS, where he became the longest-serving ITVS staffer and, in many ways, the key institutional memory for the organization. I have many memories of Patrick’s media career, but his sui generis personality always stays with me. An example is a memory of his clanging away on a guitar at private concert at his and Kristi’s place. One song, PDA No Way, was an attack on what Patrick thought were tacky and irredeemable public displays of affection. It was a polemic, but also sweet in a very Patrick way. So I’ll gently contradict Patrick’s sentiment and offer this public display of affection for Patrick, whose memory will linger for a long time with all of us in his extended family.
Pamela Balabuszko-Reay
duchess@mn.rr.com

02/20/04@09:38
It was with shock and sadness that I read of Patrick's death in the Minneapolis Star Tribune this morning. I lived across the hall from Patrick on Harriet Avenue in Minneapolis. My husband Jim did work with Patrick on films- composing the music. Patrick video taped our wedding. I can still see Patrick and Kristi doing the chicken dance- Kristi's gloved arms in the air. I would hear about how they were doing in San Francisco sometimes through other people. We had not heard that Patrick was sick. Kristi- we remember Patrick as someone with a wonderful creative mind and a fun sense of humor. We will be thinking of you in the days ahead. Pamela Balabuszko-Reay 4246 Scott Terrace Edina Mn 55416
Mindy Aronoff
mindy@bavc.org

02/20/04@11:57
What a goofball! I loved baiting Patrick so that he would start a litany of ridiculously funny reasoning. A lovely, lovely man who will remain in my thoughts always.
Julia Pimsleur
juliapim@mindspring.com

02/20/04@11:58
Patrick was a stellar storyteller, had an infectious laugh, was a true cynic, and made you wish he'd invite you for a ride on his motorcycle. At ITVS board meetings he and Lois would arrive fresh off his motorcyle with some crazy story about what happened to them en route, making us all feel we'd been there too instead of stuck in a stuffy conference room. Patrick could and did transport you into his world, and for that we were all very grateful. It seemed he was from a wacky wonderful place where people wore signature dark rim glasses and things that made them happy, and where there was room for everyone. I will miss Patrick for his wit, energy, professionalism and exemplary ability to be himself. My thoughts are with the ITVS staff and of course his wife Kirsti. Ellen Spiro, thank you for these words which speak better than I can: "Patrick moved through the world like a brightly glowing exotic flying insect, flaunting his own weirdness in a way that encouraged the rest of us."
Tina DiFeliciantonio & Jane C. Wagner
Tina@NakedEyeProductions.com

02/20/04@12:30
We write this with a very heavy heart. Patrick's illness and passing feels incomprehensible. We can only hope that he died without pain, knowing that he was loved by innumerable colleagues and friends across the country. We worked with Patrick during his early years at ITVS (while we were making GIRLS LIKE US) and kept in touch with him since then. We will always be grateful for his faith in us as filmmakers and for his never- ending support. When others doubted, Patrick could look beyond immediate difficulties and help others see the potential that he saw. It was a pleasure watching Patrick thrive and grow both professionally and personally. We felt proud whenever he was promoted because we knew how much he deserved to be recognized for his work. Patrick was kind and empathetic, intelligent and candid. And while he didn’t pull punches, if he had to place a hit, it was with humor and sensitivity. Thank you Kristi for sharing Patrick with us. We will be thinking of you in the days ahead and hope that you will find solace in the love we all felt for him. We will miss him.
Jodi Epstein
hondurashodi@yahoo.com

02/20/04@13:39
I happened to be looking at the ITVS website when I read about Patricks death. I sit in Honduras in an internet cafe, feeling so far away from my old colleages and wishing I could be there to grieve the loss of Patrick W in person. Who else got so excited about eating frozen lunches from Safeway, getting dolled up for Halloween with me, playing the Newlywed Game in staff retreats? He enlightened me on subjects I never knew even existed. I loved him for that... I know the world will be a very different place without Patrick ... please send my love to Christie and everyone at ITVS.
Kyung Yu


02/20/04@15:02
My most memorable moment with Patrick was the first time I met him during an ITVS orientation weekend. I was nervous and intimidated until Patrick introduced himself, wearing a remarkable leopard print, button down blazer. He proudly proclaimed that he and Kristi made matching outfits for their wedding and described their shared passion for collecting unusual artifacts together. Since then, I have come to know Patrick as an exceedingly brilliant man with a tremendous wit and sense of humor and a truly deep commitment to bolstering the independent filmmaking community. But sometimes, it's really those small and brief moments that say so much about a person. And when I think of Patrick, I always picture him in that leopard print jacket, his intellectual vitality and the beaming love with which he spoke about his new wife. He moved through the world with heart and purpose and his very own sense of being. I'll miss him.
Dan Satorius


02/20/04@17:00
Patrick was a pal. He was dependable in ways that made him a good friend. You could depend on him to hold an interesting and well-reasoned conversation on a wide variety subjects. You could depend on him to remember things that are important. When you called on the phone and you said "hello, how are you?" you better mean it because you could depend on him to tell you the truth about how he was. And it was not going to be chatty. You could depend on his humor: wry, tending to sardonic. You could depend on him to order a cocktails of an unusual color. Ideas excited Patrick. All ideas actually. He was very democratic and eccletic in that way. He could discuss with equal enthusiasm the most obscure part of the US Copyrights Act having to do with compulsory licensing of music in public broadcasting and the virtues of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE KILLER as cutting edge social criticism. Both in the same conversation. He had this funny way of being formal and funky at the same time. I told him he should go to law school but in retrospect that would have been a waste. He was doing the right thing already and he loved it. He was devoted to it mind and soul in a way that demanded admiration. Law school would have been a step down for him. I admired Patrick. I admired his mind. I coveted his wardrobe. I shall miss him dearly.
Annie Moriyasu
amoriyasu@piccom.org

02/21/04@13:12
Today is his service and I am thinking of that crazy guy we all loved and admired. I will never forget his rendition of "Hit with Your Best Shot" with Lois at the PBS mtg. Completely over the top and unabashed, he sang with absolute juice. I loved his ferocious wit, he spared no one or anything, that is uncommon and to be envied. I still have the karaoke video. What a guy.
Jordan Janeczko
jordan.janeczko@chello.at

02/21/04@15:22
Patrick and I met in Junior High, back when Ronald Reagan was President and when Patrick already did a perfect John F Kennedy voice (too many hours of listening to The First Family album). I associate Patrick more with music than with film and video: he was the one who had Big Science, Trio and Error, and Bela Lugosi's Dead when most people were listening to Like A Virgin. As far as I know, he was able to play just about anything on the guitar (though was known to get upset when not up to perfection on the solo of Sultans of Swing, a song I think he respected, but did not like). His bands throughout time, Eyes on Troy, Yin-Yang Bomb, and the Christmas CD he did with Kristi, all show different aspects of Pat. Who he was, what he appreciated, or at least what he thought about. Today I scrunged up a letter from Patrick which he wrote shortly after I moved to Austria and he was still in the Twin Cities talking excitedly about how the band he was in then, Rain Dog, had a great show at the 24 Bar and was asked back - this time for money. Exuberance left right and center. Since the funeral service started a few hours ago, and a few continents away, I've been reminisching (i.e. reminiscing with a bottle of alcohol) and I thought I'd share a section from the letter where he wrote about movies. It seems appropriate for this page (thanks ITVS), and I think it shows not only his wry sense of humor, but also shows how he liked to really think about what he did, and thought a lot about what he really liked to do. ----- Eric, Peter, Kristi and I had the Gala opening (finally) of our first film, Cycle Slut Christmas. The party was a raging success. People actually laughed at the movie and kept festing away afterward. The last people finally left my apartment at 5:00 am or so. It sure was gratifying to hear people laugh. I am convinced that the true difficulty of comedy is that work tends to make things seem unfunny. Sure, the idea is funny at first, but then during all the work of putting the joke on film, it's easy to doubt and say, "is this idea funny enough? Enough to justify the work? Funny equal to say... lugging a 600 pound motorcycle off a truck" and then when looking at the footage and spending all the time editing and working with the soundtrack and in short, seeing the footage 1 million times, nothing seems all that funny anymore. The next film we are working on isn't a comedy, but rather an experimental documentary. so we don't have to sweat the laughs. Instead we'll fret about whether we are boring everybody to tears. It's going to be this sort of highbrow meditation on the history of the St. Anthony Falls region of Minneapolis as interpreted through the critical apparatus laid out in Martin Heidegger's essay "The Question Concerning Technology.," Look for it in a video store near you. In the 15 minute opaque american experimental documentary section of the video store. -----
Francesca Prada
dianafilms@aol.com

02/21/04@15:56
Patrick's singular vision, coupled with his inherent compassion and red-hot wit, embody the rarest combination of gifts a soul can bring forth. I wish he could have stayed here longer, there's no telling what wild children his kaleidoscopic brain would have sprung. Patrick, you are dearly missed and well remembered by so many people. Who ever thought faux leopard skin could make a person cry? In friendship and with great care, Francesca
Amy Durgan
amydurgan@hotmaill.com

02/21/04@22:08
Is it me, or did Patrick seem to know something about EVERYTHING? What I remember most about Patrick, besides his intelligence, sense of humor, occasional surliness and love of film and music, is his complete adoration of his wife, Kristy, who he liked to call his girlfriend, perhaps because "wife" was too dowdy for someone who loved bat-shaped peppermint patties. When I asked him how he enjoyed the Academy Awards, which he attended last year, Patrick said he enjoyed the show, but he'd wished Kristy had been there. Last fall, when we were talking on the phone after he had been diagnosed, Patrick said, "I'm worried about Kristy." Not knowing what to say, I said, "Why?" He said, "Because I love her." That was Patrick--heartbreakingly honest. He never stopped surprising me.
Ericka Olsen Stefano
erickaolsenstefano@yahoo.com

02/22/04@03:59
I wrote a long letter that got erased. and so I'll stick with a list of Patrick memories from high school and later. 1) the Grand Re-opening of the Glen, our local $1.50 suburban re-run theater. After completing repairs to keep the building from being condemned, we attended the Gala opening in formal attire (we were the only ones who saw this as an event), I think seeing Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink. Patrick : tuxedo, skinny tie with a keyboard down the side, top hat, cane, and if I'm not mistaken, a leopard print cumberbun. Quadrephenia meets Fred Astaire. 2) his quoting the entirety of Monty Python and the Holy Grail walking between the "social" (a weekly dance "for the kids" which we all went to and all hated) and Good-Buy ranch, where we went to get totally wired on various sugar snacks. Returning, now on a sugar high, quoting the entirely of Life of Brian, this time at high speed. 3) an email, about his going to celebrate Holloween on Castro Street despite San Francisco trying to move the whole thing elsewhere. Patrick writes of being dressed up in a shark suit enjoying the evening with a few thousand other people, wandering around in the dark. Need I say more. I don't know how to end this. Okay, like I began it, a list : 1) unfair 2) beyond unfair 3) Kristi I'll miss him.
Emily Stevens
emilyemilyemily@earthlink.net

02/22/04@17:48
This website was empty when I first visited it and I didn’t know where to start. But now all these wonderful posts make me smile during this very sad time, so thank you all for writing them, and thank you, Patrick, for inspiring them. It was an honor to be among those who spoke about this extraordinary man at his memorial service yesterday. Here’s pretty much what I said. Patrick Wickham is the smartest person I’ve ever met. If that sounds like hyperbole for the sake of if today, it’s not. I’ve been saying that for years. I met him in 1991 when we worked together at ALIVE FROM OFF CENTER where he was the production intern and possibly the world’s biggest film geek. (In this crowd, that’s a compliment. And it’s meant to be.) He then went to ITVS where he served loyally from the day the doors opened. A couple of years later I also got a job at ITVS, as Patrick’s supposed "boss," but for the next five years he taught me everything I know. He was ever so good at dealing with budgets and schedules and releases and contracts. I know that sounds boring to some of you, but he loved that stuff and, well, someone has too. (Besides me.) He knew copyright law as well as any attorney, and as Nondas said to me yesterday, "who else could make insurance funny?" He had this amazing work ethic, unmatched, and he quietly took on and accomplished so much. If god is in the details, then Patrick’s brain was god; his memory was superhuman, he retained every moment surrounding every project, every meeting, every negotiation, every success or failure, and in the re-telling of such dramas, he exhibited his stunning gift for comedy, his biting wit. For years he’s been the institutional memory, the soul and the comic relief at ITVS, and I can’t imagine life there without him. Patrick was incredibly kind and generous. He rarely said no to anyone, even when he should have. He loved to help people solve problems and he made their problems his own. Once in a while when something really was just too much, he’d say "well they’re asking for the moon, but the moon is not available today." But I think he reached for the moon for someone every day. He was more than a brilliant negotiator and, as we used to say, a bureaucrat with a heart of gold. He was also a talented filmmaker himself, so he truly empathized with the filmmakers he worked with. He understood the passion of vision and the incessant obstacles on every production. He used to say "a successful film is one that gets finished," and as flip as that may sound, he wasn’t kidding. His own films were like him -- sharp, funny, edgy, brave, and endlessly entertaining. If you’ve ever seen his (naked) homage to Citizen Kane you know what I’m talking about. Outside of work Patrick really knew how to have a good time. He cherished his motorcycle, he played guitar beautifully, he and Kristi recorded music together. His boundless enthusiasm for karaoke persuaded many many people to sing in public, including some who probably shouldn’t, like me. A couple of years ago on New Year’s Eve, Patrick, Kristi, Lois and Jannette drove down to Los Angeles to surprise us – we were having a party -- and it really made our party special. My friends in LA still talk about the guy in the leopard suit doing karaoke. The last time I got to spend time with Patrick outside the hospital was in December in Las Vegas. We met him and Kristi there for a few days at Patrick’s favorite, the Hard Rock Hotel. And let me just say a word here about Kristi. Although Patrick’s time was shorter than any of us would have chosen, he was actually a very lucky guy, because he and Kristi found each other and in Kristi he found the perfect partner. I can think of no better word to describe their union. Perfect. Anyway, Vegas. The trip was fun but it sometimes hard for Patrick. He never complained but he was in pain, he had some trouble with meals, and last but certainly not least, he got stuck at a losing roulette table with a bunch of frat guys. But he wore his leopard suit to the Brian Setzer Orchestra concert, and walking around the casino before the show, he looked like such a rock star that people kept asking him if he were in the band. We also had a really nice afternoon at the Hard Rock Spa. At the gym he demonstrated his mastery of the rock wall, climbing like a pro. Kristi and I couldn’t quite keep up. And afterward in the whirlpool and steam room, he was so comfortable and relaxed, he said that for a while he actually forgot he was sick. That’s what I want to do, I want to forget he was sick, and just remember him. I’m really going to miss him. I know you all will too.
Janet Gardner
dragongar@aol.com

02/22/04@21:52
When Pham Thai and I arrived in San Francisco in January, 2001, Patrick was the first person to greet us by name and make us feel right at home. He was fun and sassy and smart.We were coming from New York and didn't know what to expect as new producers learning to work with ITVS. When he grinned at us, we felt like we had won the jackpot. He was assigned to us as our production manager for "Precious Cargo" and we expected him to cut our budget. To our surprise he increased many items. We knew then that we had an ally. After that weekend, although we were in different cities, we felt he was out pointman on the front lines. He understood our struggle and had a great sense of humor about it. When we attended the ITVS 10th anniversary party at the PBS meeting in Philadelphia, I spotted his jaunty pork pie hat across the room and just had to hug him. Indie filmmakers have lost a true friend. His wonderful wit, warmth, and dedication will live on through the many friends he made and films he helped us make better. We miss him and send our love and sympathy to Kristi and all our ITVS friends.
Dan Satorius
dsatorius@abdoabdo.com

02/23/04@16:52
Patrick was a pal. He was dependable in ways that made him a good friend. You could depend on him to hold an interesting and well-reasoned conversation on a wide variety subjects. You could depend on him to remember things that are important. When you called on the phone and you said "hello, how are you?" you better mean it because you could depend on him to tell you the truth about how he was. And it was not going to be chatty. You could depend on his humor: wry, tending to sardonic. You could depend on him to order a cocktails of an unusual color. Ideas excited Patrick. All ideas actually. He was very democratic and eclectic in that way. He could discuss with equal enthusiasm the most obscure part of the US Copyrights Act having to do with compulsory licensing of music in public broadcasting and the virtues of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE KILLER as cutting edge social criticism. Both in the same conversation. He had this funny way of being formal and funky at the same time. I told him he should go to law school but in retrospect that would have been a waste. He was doing the right thing already and he loved it. He was devoted to it mind and soul in a way that demanded admiration. Law school would have been a step down for him. I admired Patrick. I admired his mind. I coveted his wardrobe. I shall miss him dearly.
Dee Davis
dee@ruralstrategies.org

02/23/04@16:54
If I have a perspective to add to what you folks who worked so closely with Patrick know, it comes from the time-lapse photography of coming to town every few months for a couple of days. I don't know if I got Patrick at first. I just saw him as a funny kid. But I was impressed to see the other ITVS staff go to this junior member of the club with most everything. He was quotable. He had a caustic wit that separated pretense from endeavor. And those that worked with him trusted his radar. What I assumed at first was discomfort with himself or unhappiness at being stuck in Minnesota, I later came to see as discomfort with a world full of injustice and deceit. A better way to say it is that Patrick had little time for phonies. What he did have was a sense of fair play and an undisguisable Midwestern earnestness. He believed in things: friendship, art, fighting a good fight, telling people what you think. I saw that in St. Paul. I saw that in San Francisco. He showed up. He put in the effort. In an ethereal enterprise he gave good weight. Each day he strove to make the world mean something. My heart goes out to Kristi, his family, and to all you guys on the job.
Mary Ann Thyken
maryann_thyken@itvs.org

02/23/04@16:57
I invaded Patrick’s world just 16 short months ago. He quickly learned that I watched Monster Garage and admired any film featuring Kriswell. I discovered that he was admired hard luck poker players and looked damn fine in drag…the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I liked dropping into his comfy cubby of an office to discuss the rational of insurance limits and the arcane history of the CPB along side the Simpsons and stuffed vampire mice. It was all pretty entertaining with Patrick. Then a strange thing happened. I took over his job as he moved into the digital future. It was a move we both made with considerable fear and trepidation. I didn’t want to follow the smartest boy in the class, and he was wondering about his place in the great blue yonder, but we took cautions steps down our new paths. That’s when he finally showed his true colors, which turned out to be transparent. He never held things back, always encouraged, and treated me with more kindness than experience or Shakespeare would tell us a person could in that situation. He wanted nothing but success for me, even in moments that he needed a bulldozer to push back his own sense of worthlessness (the boy could be a bit insecure you know). On a day like today I like thinking about being on the back of Patrick’s motorcycle. As I alternately felt thrills and dread, his confidence was overwhelming. His control was perfect. No doubts about his own skill, no way. On a day like today I also have to come to grips with the profound loss of all I could have learned, all I could have laughed and all I could have cared had I been able to live in Patrick’s world a bit longer. My heart is broken and for me there is no consolation.
Aaron Latto
Aaron.Latto@stpaul.com

02/23/04@17:36
Patrick was my friend in college, but I had not seen him in a very long time and did not know he was ill. All these wonderful stories about him! Of course this is the man he became. I recall that he'd so quickly identify the quirks of taste in all those he met, so he frequently would discuss the works of Brian Eno with me. He came up to me out of the blue once and went off (in great detail, of course) about how "I'll Come Running to Tie Your Shoe" just did not fit in the middle of the "Another Green World" CD. That veered off into a discussion about how the CD destroyed one of the great aspects of the vinyl LP -- two distinct mood pieces, rather than one. Thanks for giving a bit of yourself to so many. May you find peace, my friend.
Susan Mitchell
susanm@cranium.com

02/24/04@12:48
I went to Carleton with Pat. I just heard his voice recently, randomly, when I pulled out a dusty old unmarked cassette tape and popped it in to a player...it was one of my radio shows, probably from 1990. Pat popped into the studio to visit at some point during the show...as usual, he was twice as smart, three times as quick-witted, and four times as funny as anyone else in the room. I could immediately picture him saying something incredibly funny, pushing his glasses back up his nose while peering out over the top of them. He still made me laugh out loud, a hundred years later, and it made me miss him.
Devorah DeVries
ddevries@nyc.rr.com

02/24/04@22:07
I first met Patrick when I was answering the phones at ITVS in 1993. We crossed paths a lot over the following years. And I was always thrilled to see him. My favorite Patrick memory is from backstage at one of his rock shows in 1994. (He was part of a band he said he was forced to leave because they didn't share his suprisingly mainstream 'pop sensibilities') Backstage Patrick and my old roommate Arzu managed to pull together a game of "light as a feather, stiff as a board." (A popular game in the 1970's - which was six kids putting their index fingers underneath a child who was laying down and then chanting with gusto 'light and feather, stiff as a board" until it was time to lift the child high above the ground with just their index fingers.) Patrick had decided that if it worked with a bunch of 10 year olds -- it could work with a bunch of 20 somethings backstage at a rock show. Patrick was brave and volunteered to be the one that would lie still and prepare to be lifted while we all put our energy into chanting. We chanted 'light as feather, stiff as a board' with straight faces and mid-range volume. Patrick concentrated and believed. And then we made the move -- and that night Patrick (dressed in some sort of leopard outfit) was lifted a solid 2 feet above the ground with our index fingers! ---Much later on --Patrick and I would both tell this story to strangers at a few film festival cocktail hours when we would run into eachother-- and we never could get enough affirmation about the shear magic of the event. But it is true. He was absurdly smart, unbelivably funny, always kind and -- I swear to God - the boy could levitate. I will miss Patrick very much.
Shannon Manning
shannon AT littlecommie DOT com

02/25/04@01:19
I haven't seen Patrick since high school, but had just been thinking about him last week as I was showing my boyfriend the high school literary magazine we edited (the masthead lists Pat as "personal assistant to Jordan Janeczko") The preface and the midmagazine comic relief (a parody of high school literary magazines) have Pat's voice all over them. It struck me that he was one of the funniest, smartest guys I have ever known. The following day I found out about his passing. It inspires me to see how much people continued to cherish and love him, and how much good he continued to do for the world and for people close to him. The buy a goat program is beautiful, funny and beautiful, and fitting that he should give us such a wonderful way to remember him. My love to his family and friends. Shannon Manning
Melissa Nelson
missynelson@mail.utexas.edu

02/25/04@09:59
I also knew Pat in college, and was fortunate enough to enjoy his and Kristi's company in Minneapolis for several years afterwards. He had a theory about everything, and he was often right, and always funny. I found myself passing on his insights (always with proper credit, Patrick, I promise) to new friends, sometimes years later. He stuck with you that way. Patrick blew into town (I now live in Austin, Texas) a few years ago for the film component of South By Southwest. I met him at a bar for drinks. He whooshed in, full of enthusiasm for the film he had just seen, full of entertaining stories about old friends, full of his trademark ebullient humor, full of love for Kristi and his life and work in San Francisco. We ordered cocktails and promptly picked up exactly where we'd left off years before in Minneapolis. His unique laugh rang out over the crowd. I left the bar thinking how fantastic he was, and how he was just the same as ever. No one could be easier to remember with affection, laughter and joy.
Gita Saedi
gita@kartemquin.com

02/27/04@13:59
Patrick was more than just our central contact at ITVS for THE NEW AMERICANS. Throughout the last couple years while answering myriad queries, he shared his insight, his ideas, his wit through his quirky fusion of work and fun. He truly became a partner in every sense, and it was such a joy to work with him. It's not fair that he's not here to celebrate the project's completion. But at least his legacy will live on, through this and many other projects, through his wife and through all of us that were lucky enough to know him. His passing is such a very heavy thing for so many of us that were touched by Patrick, and the deepest of losses for the independent community.
Jessica Yu
DioramaInc@aol.com

02/27/04@14:02
I was lucky to have worked with Patrick on two projects, a film on civil war reenactors back in 1994, and then "In the Realms" during the past two years. Both were oddball projects that I thought only a mother could love, but Patrick embraced them like a favorite uncle. I know that Patrick fought for the films he believed in, and that was certainly the case with my second ITVS project. He never once said, "Hey, you know, I really stuck my neck out for you," but I knew from others that he had really put himself on the line. He believed in filmmakers and the unconventional inspiration, and I'm so grateful to have benefitted from his passion and insight. His support was a motivation in itself; if Patrick believed in me I felt strengthened in my efforts. Of course, Patrick was also hilarious and smart and entirely original. We saw him shortly before he was diagnosed; he met several of our "Realms" crew for dinner in LA. He didn't eat much, saying his appetite was down, but was happy to show us his memorial kitty tattoo, which was just about the best thing ever. Will I ever meet another man who could pull off such a thing? I'll miss you and remember you Patrick.
Jennifer E. Bell
jenniferbell@wildmail.com, jbell@harpercollege.edu

02/27/04@17:31
I was in many classes with Pat at Glenbard West High School. Pat was not only smart and witty, but thoughtful and insightful. Although I have not seen him since high school, I will miss him dearly. Pat's passing has made me think more about the importance of life. . .living life to the fullest, and giving to others. Thank you, Patrick.
Michael Shiro
Michael_Shiro@itvs.org

02/27/04@18:55
Sometimes our darkest hours have a way of making ourselves question our being. Why are we here? Is this what I am supposed to be doing? Is this who I am? Is this who I wanted to be? I queried myself last night in this manner and I wrote many pages of things. The first page or two were “needs.” A list of things I “need” to do...and a list of things I “need” to stop doing. The second page was a list of my faults and weaknesses. The last page was a list of things I would recommit myself to. Things that I had promised myself when I was an idealistic person out of college. Things that I recommitted myself to as each decade of my life passes by. I promised to recommit myself to my life long goals relating to art, to developing myself intellectually, to developing more friends and loving and honest relationships. To obtaining wisdom and compassion. To developing a sharp sense of humor and the ability to tell a story, To even study politics... I thought that if I could make it to old age accomplished in these areas, I would consider my life a “SUCCESS”. After I thought a while, I realized; even if I achieved only one of those things, from the vantage point of where I stand on 41 years of living, I would have to be grateful for that. I thought about this and I thought; well, maybe that’s the best plan I can come up with for myself (a .111 lifetime batting average). And then, I thought of Patrick... And of course, he excelled at all of those things! He had, during the six years that I had the pleasure of working with him, possessed all the things that I had just rededicated the rest of my middle-aged life to attempting to achieve (with the odds stacked gravely against me achieving even one). I thought a little more about this and I realized two things: 1.) Patrick was probably born this way – having already accomplished what I would spend a lifetime trying to achieve – that’s how far ahead of the game he seemed to me. And 2.) Patrick was accomplished at far more things than my paltry list of life’s goals... His sense of fashion and style. His uncompromising genuineness. His incredible memory and processing speed. His originality and magnetism. His way of drawing the best out of the people he met. It only makes sense that he would have been a great lover as well. And from what has been written here about Kristi and Patrick, and the times that I was lucky enough to be in their company, Patrick was that as well. Rest easy Patrick. God speed. There’s a new angel in town and he’s tattooed with a one eyed cat, rides a beautiful black bike and has some ideas for improving things around here.
Tim Sites
jetson68@hotmail.com

02/28/04@00:10
I met Patick in Jr High, but it wasn't until the latter half of high school that our group really came together. In a group of very smart people (they kept me around to lift heavy objects), Patrick stood out. After reading all of the above, it seems like that never stopped. He was smart and funny, and always had a perspective that was a little different. Pat was cool in ways that made me feel a little more hip just for hanging with him. 18 months ago, Pat was the driving force behind a mini high school reunion in Las Vegas. Without him, we never would have gotten it together. In hindsight I'm so happy we were able to do that. Pat was hilarious, insightful, and shined in clothes that I could never come close to pulling off. I had fallen out of touch with him in the past several years. As several people have noted, it is inspiring to see so many people who loved him. I'm truly honored to call him my friend. Kristi I'm so sorry. I'll miss him Tim
Sharon Cormany
corm0009@umn.edu

02/28/04@07:39
I've known Patrick since way, way back--from the Glen Ellyn Children's Chorus, of which he, his sister, my sister and I were all members. I got to know him better in high school, and eventually, I talked hi into giving me guitar lessons. Now, I've never had "regular" guitar lessons, but I assume they start with scales and basic chords, and then move on to songs like "Kumbaya" and "Michael Row the Boat Ashore". The first song Patrick taught me how to play was "Psychokiller" by the Talking Heads. I never did quite get good enough to make the chord changes smoothly, but Patrick figured the whole point of learning how to play guitar was to play songs you like, so why even waste time with the usual campfire crap. Patrick never did waste time with the usual crap. That's what made him such an exceptional person.
J Clements
thefilmfarm@earthlink.net

03/01/04@12:18
I will wirte more later, as it is just too difficult to comprehend the loss of Patrick Wickham. It has been very, very hard being so far away from him and from my coleagues at ITVS. Unreal, I guess. Am still stunned, I guess. I did have a dream the night of the day of his death and I would like to share it with you. I dreamed that Patrick and about three other people and I were going to have a party. (Yes, it felt like oreination for the producers.) Patrick was the person who knew where to go. We walked along a city street to a restuarnt that Patrick was sure that we would appreciate. Once at the restaurant we see that we are on another planet--and from space we can see Earth. We are breathless by the earth's beauty and by the incredicble detail we can see from space. Then we see another planet, then another; a parade of celestial bodies. I wake up at a moment of peace and sensing Patrick's own awe at the vastness and beauty of the universe. He is is somwhere grand and glorious I think. I hope though that when he is ready he hurries back--we need him back on Earth.
Jonathan Berman
jnb@fivepointsmedia.com

03/01/04@15:17
I love/d Patrick! Who else would suggest, while I was shooting in the Bay Area, to meet me at a dodgy downtown San Francisco martini bar? Patrick arrived on his motorbike and we discussed a small portion of all the neat geeky fun things he and I dug-- like Klaus Nomi, tiki culture, Kraftwerk, biking, geometric patterns inducing altered states -- those kinds of things. I guess what floats my boat about Patrick is that basic love of ideas, art, and humanity. Patrick appears as a kindred spirit and a fellow culture and subculture lover. His family, friends, and colleagues have been blessed by his presence and so have I. Jonathan Berman
Nancy du Plessis
nancyduplessis@attglobal.net

03/02/04@06:16
Most unfortunately, my only personal contact with Patrick was during the January 2002 orientation at itvs--but he was the life and soul of the party (so to speak!): I deeply appreciated his originality and wit, and feel bereaved for us all, though at the same time I know that such a brilliant personality lives on in those who knew him.
Caroline Libresco
caroline_libresco@sundance.org

03/03/04@19:14
To Kristi and Patrick's loved ones--please accept my deepest condolences. This is a terrible and inexplicable loss. I'm filled with anguish. I had the privelege of working with Patrick during my time at ITVS and I must say his wit, humor and brilliance were astounding to me. I quickly became a die-hard Patrick-admirer, in awe of his know-how and professionalism, but also his singular style and self-possession. He was quite simply the coolest guy around and the smartest guy around. His passing reminds me to grab life by the horns and feel the preciousness of this moment. I will remember him vividly and with great affection. I will especially remember laughing with him about something silly or ridiculous. Caroline Libresco
Gail Dolgin
daughter_danang@igc.org

03/04/04@11:54
Patrick was a hoot. An incredible intelligent hoot of a human being. I first met him when we were offered ITVS funding. At the time I was going through chemo myself. I remember sitting across from him at an orientation dinner. The hat I was wearing kept sliding down over my eyes, my bald head was quite slippery. Who would have thought that only three years later I would be with Patrick as his life was slipping away. Holding his hand days before he died, I felt the weightlessness of his palm. I looked down and saw his white skin against the sheet and realized my hand was vibrating and glowing red. Even in the end he was sharing himself with me. I don’t think I absorbed his love of sharks, leopards or bats, but I did take away a bit of his spirit. Thank you Patrick. Unfortunately I was continents away and couldn’t be at the memorial, but I had my own little visit with Patrick a few nights ago watching the Academy Awards. Last year we (Vicente Franco and I) invited Patrick to join us at the Oscars. After all, it was Patrick who walked us through the hallways and alleys of ITVS, championing our interests, helping us dodge deadlines, challenging and chastising when necessary, and always ready to segue from one line of thought to another without skipping a beat. He was our man at ITVS and we might never have gotten past our first budget revision without him. Never one to miss an opportunity for another bizarre experience, his response to the Oscar invite was true Patrick - all kid, thrilled and ready for the fun…the only caveat was we weren’t positive we’d have a ticket for him. No problem, he assured us. He’d ride around all night in the limo if we couldn’t get him in…or sit in a Hollywood bar and watch it all on TV. And he promised he’d keep his bat wings hidden under his tux. That made it much easier to get him past security. Reading about Patrick from everyone who so eloquently captured his spirit makes me mad, sad and glad…mad that I didn’t get more time with him, sad that his life was cut so short but glad that he became and will remain a part of my life.
John Podeszwa
bloppo@osb.att.ne.jp

03/05/04@16:32
He once stole my underpants.
Steve Friedman
s f r i e d m a n (at domain: PBS)(then: dot org)

03/09/04@20:36
Saw the news in _Current_ just today; hadn't spoken to Patrick since last July and didn't know he'd been ill. I'm a copyright guy. I try, usually in vain, to explain the inexplicable arcana of music licencing and public television to people who, understandably, don't really want to know any more than they have to, or even that. Pretty much nobody ever gets it: not producers; not lawyers; not music publishers; not the press. (Especially not the press.) Patrick got it. Patrick got everything. And that is certainly a testament more to his patience, intuition, and all-'round smarts than to my efforts and my teaching skills. We never met in person in the 12 or so years we knew each other. But phone conversations with Patrick were always a treat, even those ostensibly about the compulsory licence and the seven-day off-air school re-recording rights and the cable copyright royalty claim-filing procedures; ultimately they came to be about vastly more interesting things. (We never did get to face off and find out once and for all which of us was the better Neil Young impersonator.) This loss is one that really hurts.
Kristi Highum
kristihighum@yahoo.com

03/19/04@17:29
Thank you ITVS for providing this opportunity to share thoughts about Patrick. The last month has been very difficult and it's always a comfort to go back to these comments and memories and stories and read how Patrick has impressed himself upon so many others. Among the many other projects we worked on together Patrick and I had a website – blankrebels.com. It's small, and often silly but I think has that Patrick touch to it. "Blank Rebels" was Patrick's idea (the motorcycle/scooter club and the website) and the Blank Rebels pages still showcase his distinctive voice…for example, see links: http://www.blankrebels.com/br_story.html http://www.blankrebels.com/br_movies.html My portion of the site was the "scrambler" section; I've added a Memorial section for Patrick – see link: http://www.blankrebels.com/scrambler/index.h tml Content includes memorial service comments from 2/21, photos of Patrick, and links to other Patrick material I found online. I've been overwhelmed with so much the last few weeks, but am so humbled by the amount of love and support coming my way and I just wanted to say thank you to all of you out there. It helps a bit, it does. - Kristi
Nina Mairs
ubernina@yahoo.com

04/01/04@17:05
I knew Patrick in college and after, in Minneapolis. I saw him not nearly enough after we both moved. As everyone has said before me, he was a wonderful, witty, whimsical person who has left a gigantic hole in the sky. I will never look at leather, silver vinyl, or leapard print the same way again. The superbowl will never seem as fun. And no one will else will give me insight on Elvis, the Mall of America, or Reagan in the same way. He will be sorely, sorely missed.
Lois Vossen
Lois_Vossen@itvs.org

04/19/04@17:31
I made these remarks at Patrick's funeral. Sharing stories about what an extraordinary man he was makes the loss slightly easier. +++++ The third word that Patrick learned—after “mommy” and “daddy—was “shit.” Soon he went off to school. His teacher reported that Patrick was very bright, an inquisitive child who loved to learn. And he had great creativity. She did have one concern: Patrick would only color with the black crayon. Last August, when Patrick was diagnosed with cancer, the doctor’s basically had to build him a new stomach because “stomach #1” (as he liked to call it) wasn’t doing its job anymore. The surgeons engineered “stomach #2” to do the work. It was about 48 hours after the surgery, and I was visiting Patrick in the hospital. He started to talk about coming back to work in a week or two. “Buddy, we’d love to have you back in the office but you’ve got some vacation days saved up. Are you sure you don’t want to take a trip with Kristi, or just stay home and read some books?” He shot me that look, eyes gazing over the top rim of his glasses, “what’s the matter Lo? You don’t think I have the stomach for the job anymore? Don’t think I have the guts to do what it takes?” We meet people and if we’re lucky, over time we discover how special they are. Not so with Mr. Wickham. I always felt that a blind, deaf, mute could spend five minutes with him and would know he was utterly unique. Pretty much everyone saw that. Dee Davis, president of the ITVS board for many years said of Patrick: “I was impressed to see the other ITVS staff go to this junior member of the club with most everything. He was quotable. He had a caustic wit that separated pretense from endeavor. And those that worked with him trusted his radar. Patrick had little time for phonies. What he did have was a sense of fair play and an undisguisable Midwestern earnestness. He believed in things: friendship, art, fighting a good fight. He showed up. He put in the effort. In an ethereal enterprise he gave good weight. Each day he strove to make the world mean something.” It is safe to say that one of the major reasons my time at ITVS has been so enjoyable, even memorable, is because of Mr. Wickham. His remarkable intelligence. His humor. His wit. And best of all, his friendship. He had a heart the size of a prize-winning sow. He was one of a kind. You knew it the minute you met him—even if he didn’t show you the photograph of his and Kristi’s wedding in their matching leopard print outfits. Kristi, he showed that photograph to everyone. He was so proud of it. It was great that he found such a wonderful, beautiful, fun, creative woman to share his life with. We are all so pleased that you had each other—before Patrick’s illness and during the past six months when you were his rock. His best friend. His Kristibelle. Sparkina. I can’t imagine how difficult this journey would have been for him without you by his side. Our hearts and strength go out to you. Thank you for bringing so much joy into Patrick’s life and ours. Patrick and I shared a kind of love-hate relationship with San Francisco. Yes, it is beautiful city but who can afford to live here? In the months since his diagnosis, Patrick talked about how pleased he was that he and Kristi moved west and had this adventure. It is a special city and we both acknowledged that. But I knew the secret. The best way to discover this city was from the back of Patrick’s motorcycle. Whether we were heading down Hwy. 1, or he was dropping me off at the bus depot on the way home from C Bobby’s Owl Tree or a late night at the office. Or just tooling around the city, with Kristi next to him on her scooter. This city had a special charm from the back of Patrick’s Yamaha VStar. One December, Patrick decided to give Kristi a Theramin for Christmas. We both tended to get to the office early. He arrived extra early that month and built the Theramin. When it was done, he began practicing songs. This was in our old, tiny office at 51 Federal Street which was the size of a glove compartment, so the Theramin was literally next to my cubicle. Imagine beginning your work day with a Theramin serenade of “Silent Night.” That’s what it was like to work every day with Patrick. When the news went out that Patrick had cancer, many producers wrote with wonderful stories about him. This note from producer Heather Lyons stuck with me: “Patrick walked me through one of the scariest times in my life when a production company erased six of my master tapes when I was about 80% completed with editing my ITVS project. Maybe that’s why Halloween is his favorite holiday. He makes the really scary not scary at all!” No situation was beyond his wonderful black humor, a humor that defined his contagious view of the world. So I want to thank his mom Virginia for bringing him into the world. And thank you Patrick for the motorcycle rides. The pop tarts for lunch. The Theramin concerts. Your ability to quote episodes of Dr. Katz. For keeping me company at ITVS board meetings. For being the best person I ever knew at keeping a secret. When Kristi would go out of town without Patrick he couldn’t wait for his girl to get back. “That Kristi,” he’d say, “I miss her.” Patrick, we miss you already. But I know that you’re still with us, helping us through the really scary things.
Pete Beuscher
beuscher@megsinet.net

05/21/04@07:40
Kristi, Mrs. Wickham and friends, I wanted to share with you some of the memories I had of Pat. Pat and I met in the fourth grade at St. Petronille School in Glen Ellyn. We had both transferred in from public schools. I sat next to Pat, and I remember in class that Pat would keep all of these little rubber toy animals in his desk; his favorite was a horned toad named, “Horny.” Pat was always one of the brightest students. In fifth grade he was the only one who knew what DNA stood for. We built model rockets, traded football cards at lunch and made some Super 8 movies. He loved the work of Ray Harryhausen, and we would take his Playmobil figures and make them move on film. We also liked to ride BMX bikes and go to “Baja Hills” on the Prairie Path to watch the cool kids do “table tops.” For my 12th birthday, Pat and I went to Great America. Pat was also into Dungeons and Dragons, being the first, only and best dungeon master that I knew. He started playing guitar, and his first band was the “Popwick Transfusion.” Pat transferred to another school for 7th and 8th grade, but we remained friends. At Glenbard West, we had our own radio show on WGHS. It broadcasted at 88.5 FM and could be heard throughout (most of) Glen Ellyn. Freshman year our show, was named “The Cheap Sunglasses” show, in honor of the ZZ-top song and the fact that we couldn’t afford “shades.” The music we played was mainly 60s rock, The Stones, The Who, and of course, Pat’s idol at the time, Jimi Hendrix. The next year was a watershed year when Pat caught the New Wave bug. Our sophomore year our show was renamed the “Pat and Pete” show. In the fall of 1983, I remember Pat bringing in a 12” of “Blue Monday” by New Order and one of “The Walk” by the Cure. He liked “Men Without Hats” and liked to do the “Safety Dance.” He had a band called “Eyes on Troy” which featured the hits “In the Shadows” and “If I Had a Car.” He introduced me to ska, reggae and so many cool bands that I don’t know where to start. When I took guitar lessons from Pat the songs he taught me were “One Thing Leads to Another” by the Fixx and “Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence. We took German class together in high school, and we became fans of “Guten Tag” which were bizarre language films. I recently acquired a nearly complete set of “Guten Tags” on 16mm and thought Pat would think it would be cool. If he had visited, we would have had a “Guten Tag” film festival similar to the one we had in high school. Pat also turned me on to “This is Spinal Tap” and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”, which he knew all the lines by the second time he went. I saw Pat over the summers during college. I knew he was really getting into film, and he couldn’t stop talking about “Fellini Satyricon,” a movie I had seen but didn’t get until Pat recited the cool parts. I think we went to Great America again around this time and the question of the day was “Do you live in Gurnee?” which we asked almost every employee that day. Unfortunately, Pat and I lost touch as we moved to different cities. When I look back on my formative years, Pat was perhaps one of the biggest influences. I grabbed a couple of CDs for the ride to work this morning, including “New Order – Substance.” I chose it because I wanted to listen to “Blue Monday” and remember the good times with Pat. However, as the first track on the CD played, a flood of memories came back. The song was “Ceremony,” and it occurred to me that at the end of our sophomore year (1984) Pat had compiled a list of his top 10 favorite songs of all time. I am positive that was his number one song from that list. The words from a song that moved Pat way back then seem relevant now: “Picture me and then you start watching Watching forever - watching forever “
ggg
ggg

06/25/04@06:02
ggg
amy carlson
acthistle@aol.com

07/12/04@17:38
I haven't seen Pat since High School but I am profoundly saddened by the news of his passing. Pat and I were in many 'nerd'/honor classes together and he was one of the smartest people I ever met, still is. I was always just trying to keep up with him, Jordan, Lyle, Doug and others... I remember when the Jr. High Boys played D and D in a tent in my backyard. That made me cool by default, and so did listening to their radio shows in H.S. My thoughts and prayers to his family and wife.
Kimberly Schlichting
kschlichjfk@hotmail.com

07/21/04@13:04
Wow. It's been a long time since I've seen Pat, probably 8-9 years. I had no idea what happened and was just last week reminiscing about him and our other HS friends. Even now that I accidently reached this site, it's like he's still alive for me. I will remember Pat and thank him for being the one person that I could always count on for understanding me and being an ear and a friend in my many moments of adolescent angst. I always knew he was viciously intelligent, but when I look back on him now with his sense of humor, caring, and interest in so many cultural products, I realize he was also wise and just plain humane. My thoughts and best wishes go to Kristi and his family. Thank you ITVS for this site.
Phil Anderson
pmkanders@mac.com

09/16/04@16:09
It has been many years since I've seen Pat, but I had the great pleasure of knowing him both at Glenbard West and Carleton. Although we did not hang out much together, our respective circle of friends often intersected at each place. A few random memories - During the German Club field trip to the Von Steuben Day Parade/Oktoberfest in Chicago(I think in 1985), we watched the parade scene of "Ferris Bueler's Day Off" being filmed - with everone doing the "twist & shout" to the Beatles being played over the loudspeakers. On the bus ride home, I remember having a long conversation with Pat on Morrisey of the Smiths. I also saw him perform with "Eyes on Troy" numerous times as many of my friends were in another high school band, "Rational Actors." At Carleton, I remember going to see him in his band "Guns & Butter" play at the Cave. They did a fantastic cover of Joy Divison's "New Dawn Fades" It sounds like his lively personality and creative spirit flourished after graduating Carleton. I was saddened to hear his life was cut too short. My thoughts go out to his wife & family.
ken sumka
kensumka@yahoo.com

06/14/06@01:37
A little late getting here but I wanted to share my Pat stories. I'm not sure how I was introduced to Pat but we ended up playing in two bands together. First was Eyes on Troy who over the years since has achieved a legendary status among GWHS Alums. I was their first 'live' drummer. (Anyone have a playable copy of their cassette? Contact me) While we had a lot more originals than most high school bands of the era, the covers we did are forever linked to my memories of Pat. Songs like "Moral Kiosk", "Shadowplay", "Dear Prudence" and "Dreams Never End" and "Gut Feeling". I'm convinced if "In The Shadows" came out today, it would be a hit. I am still deeply indebted to Pat for introducing me to: Joy Division/New Order & The Cure. Pat worked at Marshall Field's for awhile and got a hold of a bunch of these stickers that said "Warehouse Sale", so for a one-off performance at a Kool Aid (these were 'charity' concerts held at 1st Presbytarian Church basement in G.E.) we became the band Warehouse Sale. We already had the stickers, so we already had our 'merch' to give out. We worked up about a dozen or so new wave-era covers (Cure, New Order, Devo etc) and played right before an Eyes on Troy 'reunion'. That night I played in two bands with Pat and also in my own band Rational Actors and still remember what a blast it was. It a testment to Pat's talent, wit and amazing musical taste that I can't go a week without hearing a song that in some way reminds me of him. My regards to Pat's family, he is sorely missed.
Emily
emily.stevens@comcast.net

07/30/06@22:21
I hope this site remains active. I like to visit memories of PW. Never too late to add more. Patrick & Kristi came down to LA in Oct '03 for a variety of events. One was to go to Disneyland because it was Nightmare Before Christmas at the Haunted Mansion, and Pat was a huge fan of both Tim Burton and Halloween. We insisted Patrick accept the rental scooter because DL can be exhasting at full strength, and Pat was, if memory serves, carrying the chemo shoulder bag. And it was a hot day. He zoomed around on the scooter in his flame shirt, he gave the scooter a funny name I wish I could remember, oh well, Kristi probably does. It was a really fun day. The Haunted Mansion didn't disappoint. We sat by the pool that weekend and Patrick talked about how he longed to vote in the Nov 04 presidential election. He was impassioned, angry, and, as always, bitingly articulate on the subject. And he was right. Miss him.
Melissa Koop
melissa.koop@telefonica.net

09/10/06@06:29
I'm so glad this site is still going strong. I re-read the messages every few months. I live in Spain and have been here for nearly 15 years and yet there are so many things I come across, even over here, that don't let me forget him: songs (of course), films (obviously), and the bat on the Valencia football team's coat of arms. I remember looking all over Madrid to find him that t-shirt and I was so happy to send it to him and find him wearing it when I visited him in Mpls. I was fortunate to have Patrick visit me in Spain. He came with Jordan and we all travelled down to Valencia together to Las Fallas. It was the perfect celebration for him. Each neighborhood spends the whole year making an enormous paper maché and wood sculpture that makes some sort of politcal statement. On the last night, all the statues are set on fire and the city burns on every corner. All the while people, even small children, set off firecrackers until dawn and there is the most spectacular firworks show at midnight. We were staying in a beach town called Cullera a train ride away and made it back to our rented flat around 7am the next morning. My kids really love to dig through my photo albums and just the other day were looking through my Valencia photos. There is one where Patrick and I are standing on top of two big rocks on the beach throwing our hands to the sky. We were pretending to shoot an album cover. My boys and I looked through the pictures together and I told them all about Patrick.


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